“Prevention is better than cure.”Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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“Prevention is better than cure.”
Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is an obvious fact that the governments of the world countries spend billions of dollars on health and the major part of this budget is diverted to treatment. However, most of people think it would be a better solution to allocate more funds to preventative measures and health education. Before drawing the quick conclusion it needs to be discussed why it is important to pay more attention to prophylactic precautions.

To start with, I would like to mention that there are a variety of diseases, such as cancer, AIDS and etc. cannot be treated effectively and they cause a large number of deaths every year. Moreover, the only way to protect people from these terrible diseases is to inform them about the precautions which need money to be advertised on TVs, magazines and etc. For instance, governments and charity organizations allocate a lot of money to treat people who suffer from AIDS. But it is an undeniable fact that, to date, no man can be cured from AIDS. On this occasion, if governments pay more attention to preventative measures and they help people protect themselves from mortal diseases as I indicated above, I strongly believe the death rates from them will decrease significantly.

Secondly, I think if governments allocate more funds to preventative measures, they would save more money. Obviously, preventative precautions cost less than treatment.
However, despite I emphasized the role of preventative measures above, it cannot be claimed that treatment is not important. Without treatment health system means nothing. But in my view it would be more effective a large part of the budget is diverted to preventative measures.

Take into account of all these factors, it can be said prevention is better than cure, because it saves money and time and at the same time, it decreases the risk on people’s health.

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Average: 7.2 (26 votes)
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Sentence: However, despite I emphasized the role of preventative measures above, it cannot be claimed that treatment is not important.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to despite and I

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Sentence Length SD: 11.413 7.5

Be sensitive to use However, But.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 306 350
No. of Characters: 1500 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.182 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.902 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.813 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.538 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.413 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.58 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5