As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health.
To what extent do you agree or disagree
We know that everyone needs computers and televisions. Nowadays people must get information around the world. Only one way they receive it through computer and television. Even though those have negative and positive effect, in other side computers and televisions provide a lot of benefit to us.
Some people think that computers and televisions are important for their activity, it is because news has obtained by them, and those can help human activities so they can enjoy every day in front of computers and televisions. Others show that it is negative effect while pupil are sitting long time to use them. For the impact our bodies become cramps and eyes to be minus.
In the other hand, a few inhabitants think that not only computer and television have negative effect but also they have positive effect. The result computer, make people do many works easier, we can watch videos, play games, and also browsing the internet. Computers are also used by medicines in hospital. Now and in the future, medicines need computer technology for support their activity.
Most inhabitants are used computers and televisions to share or find a lot of knowledge. for example in school and university. in the past, electronic inventions such as the computer and television not famous yet around the corner. So that why, Society no need to use them.
in conclusion, Television is one of entertainment everyone who necessary for relax, laugh, and find news. And also computer is important thing in this world. Both of them have correlation between people life.
Sentence: For the impact our bodies become cramps and eyes to be minus.
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence?
medicine need computer technology for support their activity.
medicines need computer technology for supporting their activity.
Sentence: We compare between in the past, electronic inventions such as the computer and television not famous yet around the corner.
Description: The tag a preposition is not usually followed by in
Suggestion: Refer to between and in
Sentence: To sum up, Television is one of the entertain everyone who necessary for relax, laugh, and find news.
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to who and necessary
And also computer is important thing in this world.
And also computer is an important thing in this world.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Words: 256 350
The essay is not exactly right on the topic.
Read a good grammar book. Maybe this one: http://www.testbig.com/question/grammar
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ?
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 256 350
No. of Characters: 1243 1500
No. of Different Words: 148 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.855 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.493 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 87 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.059 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.158 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.549 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5