In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Obesity is one of the most serious public health problems of the 21st century. It is a medical condition in which excess body fat has accumulated to the extent that is may have an adverse effect on health. Furthermore, obesity increases the likelihood of various disease, particularly heart disease, diabetes, certain types of cancer and osteoarthritis. There are several causes of this alarming trend, but measures could be certainly taken to tackle the problem.

Increasing of average weight of people may be caused by a several reasons. One main factor is excessive food energy intake. However, eating habits have very big impact on weight gain. It goes without saying that, these days, due to time shortage, people prefer eating out and they often choose fast food or food with high in calories which is harmful for health. Another reason is a sedentary lifestyle. In the other words, improvement in science and technology results less using of human labor. Moreover, nowadays people are generally haven’t enough time for physical activities. They prefer driving rather than walking or riding and spending time by watching TV or playing computer games instead of going for sport. Genetic factors also play an important role in exceeding the normal body weight. Like many other medical conditions, obesity is the result of an interplay between genetic and environmental factors.

Fortunately, there are a number of solutions to address the problem. One way to fix the problem would be for government to strictly control safety of foods. On the other hand, people should reduce the consumption of fatty foods and fast food, which may cause obesity. Another solution would be for those who suffers from overweight to use leisure time more active. For example, to go for a walk, to do sport etc. Finally, we should also save our environment. There should be campaigns against pollution of weather and water with hazardous elements.

All in all, there might be other ways to fix the problem, but I strongly believe that those listed above would suffice.

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Average: 6.5 (6 votes)
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Sentence: It is a medical condition in which excess body fat has accumulated to the extent that is may have an adverse effect on health.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to is and may

by a several reasons
by several reasons

flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.044 0.07

On the other hand' means However. It doesn't mean On another hand.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 338 350
No. of Characters: 1671 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.288 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.944 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.483 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.638 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.259 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.439 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.044 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5