In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health are decreasing.what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health are decreasing.
what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

It is no doubt that there is increase in pupils of nations around the world suffering from obesity and its related diseases like high blood pressure, heart attack. This essay will discuss reasons of this health issue and ways to curb this menace.

There are many causes which has led to inflation of mass among human beings across the globe. One of primary being rise in sedentary jobs. Pupil are required to work endlessly while sitting in front of computer. These jobs are time consuming and stressful in nature which has led to bad eating habits among generation. Illustration of this fact is that we prefer eating more in restaurants rather than preparing food at home which ultimately forces us to consume more calorie than we need as we don't have control on ingredients in food being served. In addition, fast food joints are available in every nook and corner of road. They specializes in serving convenient food and influence choice of food we eat. These joints are not keen on providing information related to calorific values in their food. For instance, Mc Donalds, famous fast food joint, mostly serves fried foods and its hard or sometimes impossible for one to find amount of calories present in those dishes as they never provide any information. People being unaware eat more calories and less nutrients.So, its easy to see why cases of weight related problems are increasing.

Looking into these concerns, there is serious needs to come up with solutions. One among them is focus on increase in awareness among masses about health problems related to obesity. Government and NGO's can launch programs related to educating adult about them. Celebrities, for example, can be hired to share their eating habits and exercise regime to general public though advertisements. People generally look unto these famous personalities and it would motivate them to eat low calorific foods and indulge more in physical activities. Consequently, it will lead them to losing weight and becoming more healthy. Moreover, eating joints should be regulated and controlled by government to serve more healthy food like green salads and less fried foods. joints like Mc Donalds, should put calorie amount on each wrapping packet for items they serve. This will make people aware of amount of calories they are consuming and it would stop them from eating such foods and Ultimately, have better effect on their well being.

To conclude, body fat among pupil is increasing due to many reasons and its critical to become aware of this menace and change their lifestyle to become healthy living beings.

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Sentence: There are many causes which has led to inflation of mass among human beings across the globe.
Suggestion: There are many causes which have led...

Sentence: One of primary being rise in sedentary jobs.
Description: The word being is not usually used as a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to being

Sentence: They specializes in serving convenient food and influence choice of food we eat.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to They and specializes

Sentence: People being unaware eat more calories and less nutrients.So, its easy to see why cases of weight related problems are increasing.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to unaware and eat

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Read some grammar books.

Sentences need to be polished.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 432 350
No. of Characters: 2125 1500
No. of Different Words: 246 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.559 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.919 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.397 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 155 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.266 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.476 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.273 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.435 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

1. Your grammatical issues are not big, just keep grammar in mind when you are writing.

2. Don't need to go to a specific grammar book. Read any grammar book you have or from library.

3. Type less words, maximum 350 words are enough for IELTS writing. But after finished typing the essay, put 5 minutes checking out grammar and typing errors.

4. The sentences need to be polished to get higher marks. This is something you will really need to pay attention in the following two weeks. Read essays as much as possible from testbig site, there are thousands of essays available, and try to write at least one essay one day for checking out.

Following those tips, we guarantee you will get band 7+.

Let us know if you have more questions.