Some people argue that the amount of violence shown in films and on television has led to an increase in violent crimes in society. Do you agree with this argument? Should the government control what is shown on television and in the cinema?

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Some people argue that the amount of violence shown in films and on television has led to an increase in violent crimes in society. Do you agree with this argument? Should the government control what is shown on television and in the cinema?

It is commonly accepted that, television has a great impact on our lives. Some people hold the opinion that, governments has to impose some restrictions on TV programs as well as the films shown in it, while others are against of this idea and deem this rule to be the violation of viewers’ rights.

We must acknowledge that, most people get daily news, daily entertainment programs as well as watch interesting movies on televisions. For example, not all children have an opportunity to access internet so that to extend their knowledge as well as to watch some children’s movies or cartoons. In addition, the vast majority of adults are less likely to access internet, or to follow daily newspapers. For example, after hard working days people are most likely to kick back in front of TVs which lets them enjoy entertaining programs shown on TVs as well.

Nevertheless, television has its bad impacts on people’s, especially on children’s psychology. For instance, children have a strong tendency on learning bad habits, to break rules which create limitations for them. Additionally, we have to take into account that parents do not always have time for spending on their children. As an example, within the time when parents are at work or when they are busy with other stuff, adult films as well as other kind of programs will appeal children which can result in undesirable consequences.

In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that, governments should restrict some adult movies that TVs show. However, everything is accessible on the internet nowadays. On the other hand, parents have to be cautious on what their children watch on TVs.

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Average: 7.3 (4 votes)
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Sentence: We must acknowledge that, most people get daily news, daily entertainment programs as well as watch interesting movies on televisions.
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to as and watch

flaws:
Be sensitive to use 'On the other hand', 'However','Nonetheless' in the essays.

'On the other hand' means However. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'

How many 'as well as' in this essay?

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 275 350
No. of Characters: 1335 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.072 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.855 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.683 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.256 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.584 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.149 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5