Some people believe that unpaid community (eg. Working in charity organization; teaching sports to children) should become a compulsory part of high school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In these days, there are many people build humanity organization in many aspects and ways without hope of the income from that organization. Some people agree that humanity organization should become important curriculum for high school, but it needs much time to do this activity even though there are many lessons for student to study in preparation for them to continue their study in university.
It was very important to develop our soul of care for each other’s since young. If we teach them earlier about the meaning of care, it could develop their notice, so that they will act to help each others in the future. Humanity organization teach student that we must give help to people without ask for their feedback, but we help them because we care. Imagine how if in this world every people care and help each others, it will be better future to live, and also decrease criminals and jobless.
On the contrary, some people argue that humanity organization in high school is not needed. It just waste student’s time to study. The students must study hard for their preparation to face the real world in university.
In my conclusion, i believe to make this world better is not only about how smart our next generations in academic education, but also about how good they are cause they care each others. It will be good if they practice their care feeling and how to establish a humanity organization since child, so that they get habitual about it.
Sentence: It was very important to develop our soul of care for each other's since young.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to since and young
Sentence: If we teach them earlier about the meaning of care, it could develop their notice, so that they will act to help each others in the future.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and others
Sentence: Humanity organization teach student that we must give help to people without ask for their feedback, but we help them because we care.
Description: The fragment organization teach student is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace teach with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: Imagine how if in this world every people care and help each others, it will be better future to live, and also decrease criminals and jobless.
Description: A WH-adverb is not usually followed by a conjunction, subordinating
Suggestion: Refer to how and if
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and others
Sentence: In my conclusion, i believe to make this world better is not only about how smart our next generations in academic education, but also about how good they are cause they care each others.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and others
flaws:
No. of Words: 253 350
No. of Characters: 1178 1500
No. of Different Words: 128 200
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 253 350
No. of Characters: 1178 1500
No. of Different Words: 128 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.988 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.656 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.385 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 69 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 49 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 33 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.361 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.39 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.645 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.164 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5