Some people think that Goveronment should pay for the health care and education.Do you agree or disagree.
The improvement of health care and education depend on money heavily,and without a large amout of money supply,which mainly comes from our goveronmentt, no one country can get better and better.Some people,therefore,think that government has the responsibiklity to make health care and education satisfied by inhibitants.I am absolutely agree with this statement.
A healthy life relies on a perfect health system as a prerequisite and only the wonderful environment of life can creat a stable and prosperite society.If people were stick in diseases and no money can afford their bills,whom i think there are a lot of,It is hard to imagine that half of residents could not live a normal life,what is worse,it will lead to social unrest.If all the people were illness in one country, then there is no need to the existence of this nation.
Well education system is the foundation of a powful nation, for the development of our society needs talented person and only might country can exist in modern society.Thus, investing money in education is the very frist thing that government should do,the country is not welfare,though.Imagine that a bad education environment,like Irap whose citizens live under the shadow of war,can never produce an outstanding man.In contrary,a well education,like the USA and the UK,can always have diffirent kinds of people of talent.
However,it is a hard thing that all the money are supplied by our goveronment,which is not a small account.Besidesgovernment,enterprisers should also give a hand to our society, whose money come from people and be used for the people.
In a word,government should shoulder a large part of responsibility ,and meanwhile,help from enterprises and enterprisers will be morebenefit for the improvement of society.Dealing with the based problems is the prerequisite of further development.
Comments
Spell check
Sentence: The improvement of health care and education depend on money heavily,and without a large amout of money supply,which mainly comes from our goveronmentt, no one country can get better and better.Some people,therefore,think that government has the responsibiklity to make health care and education satisfied by inhibitants.I am absolutely agree with this statement.
Error: inhibitants Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: responsibiklity Suggestion: responsibility
Error: amout Suggestion: amount
Error: goveronmentt Suggestion: government
Sentence: A healthy life relies on a perfect health system as a prerequisite and only the wonderful environment of life can creat a stable and prosperite society.If people were stick in diseases and no money can afford their bills,whom i think there are a lot of,It is hard to imagine that half of residents could not live a normal life,what is worse,it will lead to social unrest.If all the people were illness in one country, then there is no need to the existence of this nation.
Error: creat Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: prosperite Suggestion: prosperity
Sentence: Well education system is the foundation of a powful nation, for the development of our society needs talented person and only might country can exist in modern society.Thus, investing money in education is the very frist thing that government should do,the country is not welfare,though.Imagine that a bad education environment,like Irap whose citizens live under the shadow of war,can never produce an outstanding man.In contrary,a well education,like the USA and the UK,can always have diffirent
Error: powful Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: frist Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: diffirent Suggestion: different
Sentence: kinds of people of talent.
No spelling errors
Sentence: However,it is a hard thing that all the money are supplied by our goveronment,which is not a small account.Besidesgovernment,enterprisers should also give a hand to our society, whose money come from people and be used for the people.
Error: goveronment Suggestion: government
Sentence: In a word,government should shoulder a large part of responsibility ,and meanwhile,help from enterprises and enterprisers will be morebenefit for the improvement of society.Dealing with the based problems is the prerequisite of further development.
Error: morebenefit Suggestion: more benefit
the very first thing i should do is to say thank you
No alternate word means 没有备用字！ 是什么意思？
You are always welcome!
No alternate word means potentially there are gram or spell mistakes around that word.
Struture and ideas are both
Struture and ideas are both good. but need to polish the sentences more.
Take it easy
It may take a while to imporve essay writing greatly. So take it easy. Totally you write essay very well.
In your situation, first, you need to continue writing more essays, second, when you are doing IELTS reading exercise, pay attention to those articles' sentences. Those articles were chosen from those great articles. They are all well polished. Third, if you have time, you may need to pay some time reading English books like "New Concept English" to know more on how to write good sentences.
Please let us know if you have other questions.
Cheers,
Sentence: A healthy life relies on a perfect health system as a prerequisite and only the wonderful environment of life can creat a stable and prosperite society.If people were stick in diseases and no money can afford their bills,whom i think there are a lot of,It is hard to imagine that half of residents could not live a normal life,what is worse,it will lead to social unrest.If all the people were illness in one country, then there is no need to the existence of this nation.
Description: A verb 'to be', past tense, 2nd person singular or all is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to were and stick
Description: The word i is not usually used as a noun, singular, proper
Suggestion: Refer to i
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a comma
Suggestion: Refer to of and ,
Description: A verb 'to be', past tense, 2nd person singular or all is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to were and illness
Sentence: Well education system is the foundation of a powful nation, for the development of our society needs talented person and only might country can exist in modern society.Thus, investing money in education is the very frist thing that government should do,the country is not welfare,though.Imagine that a bad education environment,like Irap whose citizens live under the shadow of war,can never produce an outstanding man.In contrary,a well education,like the USA and the UK,can always have diffirent
Description: An interjection is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to Well and education
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to might and country
Description: The word well is not usually used as an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to well
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an End of sentence
Suggestion: Refer to diffirent
Sentence: kinds of people of talent.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: However,it is a hard thing that all the money are supplied by our goveronment,which is not a small account.Besidesgovernment,enterprisers should also give a hand to our society, whose money come from people and be used for the people.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: In a word,government should shoulder a large part of responsibility ,and meanwhile,help from enterprises and enterprisers will be morebenefit for the improvement of society.Dealing with the based problems is the prerequisite of further development.
Description: The fragment , help from is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace help with verb, past participle
Description: The word shoulder is not usually used as a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to shoulder
Description: The fragment the based problems is not usually followed by is
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace is with are