You are hereSome people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged . Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged . Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion


By iceecreami - Posted on 09 August 2012

Essay topic: 

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged . Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

It is undeniable that children have the most innocent mind. What they are taught in school definitely shapes who they are when they grow up. So, teaching them how to cooperate with each other or sparking competitions between themselves, is a debatable question as of which will bring the greatest benefit.

In competitions, children are often put under pressure by academic challenges. This results in children working harder to meet the expectations and outshine their peers. Then, they instantly stand out from their peers, for example, getting first place in class. This gives, the children a sense of fulfilment, hence confidence. With such confidence, they are also more likely to success in life later on. Furthermore, an individual competition means that they cannot rely on others. Also this ensures that they cannot take advantage of other peas and get away with their assignments, therefore, creating responsible and independent individuals.

As importantly, team work allows children to work together peacefully and discuss their ideas. They can together their ideas and improve them. Individual mistakes are also recognised and presented by their groups. This in turn, will shape them into humble individuals because they were proved that they are not always right. Furthermore, in today’s world, co-operation between colleagues is an essential bond in order to success. If it is practiced since young, they will be more prepared and have a smoother future in the workforce.

In my opinion, I think that both qualities are as equally important. They bring about different benefits to individuals. Therefore, chools and teachers can do so by allowing groups of children to complete against other groups, so that the can have the best out of both ideal.

Average: 6.5 (11 votes)
More essays by this user:

Sentence: Therefore, chools and teachers can do so by allowing groups of children to complete against other groups, so that the can have the best out of both ideal.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to the and can

Sentence: This gives, the children a sense of fulfilment, hence confidence.
Error: fulfilment Suggestion: fulfillment

Sentence: Individual mistakes are also recognised and presented by their groups.
Error: recognised Suggestion: recognized

Sentence: Therefore, chools and teachers can do so by allowing groups of children to complete against other groups, so that the can have the best out of both ideal.
Error: chools Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Words: 281 350
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.789 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.699 7.5

Need more words and more compound sentences.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 281 350
No. of Characters: 1441 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.094 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.128 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.697 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.789 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.699 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.262 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.455 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

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