Students in high school should study music as a compulsory school subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

Essay topics:

Students in high school should study music as a compulsory school subject.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

The discussion about whether or not that high school students should study music as a compulsory is a controversial one. There are lots of audience who have strong feeling for both sides of this statement. However, before drawing any conclusion on this important issue we must discuss it more elaborately.
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There are several reasons compel to go in favour of this topic. First of all, study music as a compulsory in high school by pupil it can help country's economy because, nowadays music became such a phenomena things for human being by which they can find relaxation for their mind. It is an essential part of daily life. For instance, whenever people get-off from home to go somewhere, they turn on their music to cop-up with lonely journey. Moreover, when people do workout at gym for their physical fitness, they use their musical instruments to listen to the music and by which they find themselves to inspire more to complete their workout lesson efficiently. Additionally, by adding-up this subject as a obligatory, pupils might motivate themselves to complete their homework quickly for other subjects. Consequently, it can be a part of motivations for those students who wants to involve him or her self on this sector in future. Furthermore, according to a survey that conducted by a researcher in 2012, in this new era music can control animal plannet life and music is also helps human beings mind to be calm and refresh.

On contrary, practice of this subject in high school students might get effected who have no interest on this field. Hence, It may led a student to spend much more time on music instead of other subjects because it is consists with melody. In addition, developing countries are not yet suitable enough to add this subject in high school because they are in under development, means where still human beings are suffering to ful fill their basic needs.

In conclusion, I would like to put my essay in to a nutshell to break out a significant point which is inclusion of music subject in high school can play a positive role to boost-up countries economy.

Votes
Average: 7.5 (2 votes)
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Comments

Sentence: First of all, study music as a compulsory in high school by pupil it could helps country's economy because, nowadays music is becoming a phenomena things for human being by which they can find out relaxation for their mind.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to could and helps
Description: The fragment , nowadays music is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace nowadays with adjective
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to phenomena and things

Sentence: Additionally, by adding-up this subject as a obligatory, pupil may motivated to complete their homework quickly fo other subjects.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to may and motivated

Sentence: Hence, It may led a student to spend much more time on music instead of other subjects because it is consists with melody.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and consists

Sentence: In conclusion, I would like to put my essay in to a nutshell to break out a significant point which is inclusion of music subject in high school can play a positive role to boost-up countries economy.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to countries and economy

Sentence: Inaddition, developing countries are not yet suitable enough to add this subject in high school because they are in under development, means where still human beings are suffering to fulfil their basic needs.
Error: Inaddition Suggestion: In addition
Error: fulfil Suggestion: fulfill

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.052 0.07

Read a good grammar book.

Read this link about Coherence:
http://www.testbig.com/question/coherence

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 356 350
No. of Characters: 1692 1500
No. of Different Words: 203 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.344 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.753 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.585 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.733 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.574 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.509 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.052 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5