This topic comes from the Cambridge IELTS 7 Test 2 Writing Task 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Write about the following topic Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime Others however argue that the

Essay topics:

This topic comes from the Cambridge IELTS 7 Test 2 Writing Task 2:

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

It is clearly that the any confirmed crime should be paid, via the way of prison or financial penalty. However, there are two voices here, should the fixed punishment mechanism to be applied? Or the alternative one, which is flexible and it takes into account the circumstance and the motivation before jumping to a judge?

We know that fixed punishment is an approach by setting clear punishment to the criminal who has committed. The penalty includes clear year(s) number of staying in jail, or clear penalty amount the criminal need to compensate. Of course, this mechanism could help to quickly reach the punishment conclusion, but it ignores many factors which should impact the conclusion, whatever lenient or serious, that is why there is another method, the flexible punishment.

The flexible punishment is an approach firstly defining punishment level based on common understanding regulation, and then refines the sentence by adding the factor of crime motivation, the circumstance, and also the impact to the victims. This kind of mechanism can really reflect the effect of crime, and provides the possibility to adjust the conclusion requested by the victims. In consequence, I would support this flexible punishment rather than the fixed punishment, given that it has favoured at least two cases known from the internet:

In China, there was a famous case about the toxic milk powder, which deeply impacted China milk powder impression. Because the manufacture produced a great deal of milk powder, at which a wide range of Chinese babies had eaten and some of those related babies got serious sick even death finally. Concerning the victims are just babies, the most precious honey of their parents but finally were badly attacked, heavier sentence should be added into the manufacture owners but not only a fixed punishment.

Another case, which is more common, a passerby attacked the thief at excessive defense. The flexible punishment also favours the reality at this scenario by taking into account the motivation is defense.

In a brief, the flexible punishment is a better way, since it responses better the real situation of crime.

Votes
Average: 6.9 (29 votes)
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Comments

Sentence: It is clearly that the any confirmed crime should be paid, via the way of prison or financial penalty.
Description: The word any is not usually used as a qualifier, pre
Suggestion: remove the , It is clearly that any confirmed...

Sentence: Concerning the victims are just babies, the most precious honey of their parents but finally were badly attacked, heavier sentence should be added into the manufacture owners but not only a fixed punishment.
Description: The fragment are just babies is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace just with adjective

Sentence: Another case, which is more common, a passerby attacked the thief at excessive defense.
Error: passerby Suggestion:

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 348 350
No. of Characters: 1759 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.319 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.055 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.617 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.323 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.59 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Appreciate essayE-rater's complement. If there is any mistake/error in terms of essay structure? And alternative option for the words choices. Thanks in advance for your time.

You are welcome!

-The structure of the essay is no problem (Don't pay much attention to structure,write according to the topic requirement)

-You used the vocabulary words greatly:

No. of Words: 348 350
No. of Characters: 1759 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.319 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.055 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.617 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20

The first number is yours while the second number is the ideal one.

-Keep warming up, you have the potential to get marks over 8.0.