You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer
If i were that person who has selection concern it. Obviously, i will decide to buy either a piece of jewelry because jewelry has good effect today and future. For example, firstly, today is for lifestyle. Secondly, it can be savings for future.
In one hand, jewelry is part of lifestyle these days, because it is used for accessories too. Nowadays, people are using jewelry not only to go to formal events and party, but they are using it as their way to look existance. For instance, my mom likes to go to regular social gathering with her friends, and she always shows off her jewelry to her community because jewelry is part of lifestyle which has classy in this day and age.
On the other hand, nowadays, jewelry is piece of alternative ways for investasing in urgent situation. Because jewelry never gets an decrease price, instead it always gets an increase price year to years. For example, i had a trouble to pay my school, while my family was getting economy crisis, i have not anything , i only have the earrings. That was from my grandmother several years ago. Finally, my mom decided to sell it for paying my academic. Through sold it, i could continue my educate throughout sold my earings which are from my grandmother. As a result, jewelry could be savings for future because it cannot be predicted.
In sum, i would like to choose buy a piece of jewelry if i were that person because in my opinion, it has advantages today or future.
Sentence: If i were that person who has selection concern it.
Description: The fragment selection concern it is rare
Sentence: Through sold it, i could continue my educate throughout sold my earings which are from my grandmother.
Description: The fragment Through sold it is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace sold with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: Nowadays, people are using jewelry not only to go to formal events and party, but they are using it as their way to look existance.
Error: existance Suggestion: existence
Sentence: On the other hand, nowadays, jewelry is piece of alternative ways for investasing in urgent situation.
Error: investasing Suggestion: investing
Sentence: Through sold it, i could continue my educate throughout sold my earings which are from my grandmother.
Error: earings Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Words: 259 350
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 259 350
No. of Characters: 1152 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.012 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.448 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.405 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 86 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 27 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 17 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.267 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.426 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.541 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5