IELTS Writing Task 1
The bar chart compares and contrasts data on the change in the amount of time spent for watching TV, measured in hours per week, by seven distinct groups of age from both sexes in the UK over a 5-year period from 1995 to 1999.
A closer look at the diagram highlights the fact that the oldest age group of 65 years old and above spent more time to watching TV compare to other age group.
More specifically, both sexes from the oldest group watched TV a little over from 35 hours per week in 1999. By contrast, girl from the youngest group of 4-15 years old in 1999 spent almost the same hours with boys from 16-24 years old in 1995 with a little above 17 hours per week. The most significant difference for female viewer can be found in the teen age group of 16-24 years old with a climb of 3 hours from 20 hours in 1995 to 23 hours in 1999.
Another fact worth noticing is that people in between 45-59 years old and 55-64 years old experienced a gradual increase of hours for both gender, while other groups of age had fairly fluctuation within this time period.
spent more time to watching TV compare to other age group.
spent more time to watch TV compared to other age groups.
Sentence: Another fact worth noticing is that people in between 45-59 years old and 55-64 years old experienced a gradual increase of hours for both gender, while other groups of age had fairly fluctuation within this time period.
Description: The fragment had fairly fluctuation is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace fairly with adjective
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.5 21.0 //some sentences are long and didn't depict clearly
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 6 10
No. of Words: 201 200
No. of Characters: 850 1000
No. of Different Words: 102 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.765 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.229 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.063 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 41 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 22 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 16 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 7 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.228 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.581 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.869 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.249 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4