You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.The graph above show information of employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.Summarize the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.You should wri

Essay topics:

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The graph above show information of employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.
Summarize the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.

You should write at least 150 words.

The bar chart indicates the figures of the employment rates of the six countries including Australia, Switzerland, Iceland, the UK, Newzealand and the USA for two years in 1995 and 2005.

At the first glance, Iceland possessed the greatest employment rates for men in both 1995 and 2005, with well over 70% and nearly 83%, respectively. By contrast, Australia was responsible for the least figure for male compared to the other five nations, around 56% in 1995 and increasing to approximately 69% in 2005. Interestingly, the was the same quantity of employment rates of males employment in Newzealand and the USA in 1995 (about 60%) and 2005 (well over 70). A more detailed look at the bar chart reveals that there was a significant rise in the rates of employment and the number of men who have jobs to be overweight the opposite sex in the six countries in 1995 as well as in 2005.

It is concluded that Iceland was ranked the first place for male employment rate in the period and the smallest figures belonged to Australia. Employment rates of men were higher than the figures of women.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)

Comments

Sentence: Interestingly, the was the same quantity of employment rates of males employment in Newzealand and the USA in 1995 about 60 and 2005 well over 70.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', past tense, 1st and 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to the and was

the number of men who have jobs to be overweight the opposite sex in the six countries
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

Iceland was ranked the first place
Iceland was ranked at the first place

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 10
No. of Words: 190 200
No. of Characters: 873 1000
No. of Different Words: 96 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.713 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.595 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.712 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 50 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 42 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.342 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.519 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.693 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4