18/09/2017You have a full-time job and are also doing a part-time evening course.You now find that you cannot continue the course.Write a letter to the course tutor. In your letter.Describe the situationExplain why you cannot continue at this timeSay what

Essay topics:

18/09/2017
You have a full-time job and are also doing a part-time evening course.
You now find that you cannot continue the course.
Write a letter to the course tutor. In your letter.
Describe the situation
Explain why you cannot continue at this time
Say what action you would like to take.

Dear Mr. Smith,

I am writing to inform you that I discontinue the course.

I work in an insurance company and my boss told me that I need to improve my English if I want to get a promotion to a manager position. Consequently, I decided to enroll in your Business English course. It appears that all my hard work pays off because I have been recently given a proposal to become a head of the department in which I currently work.

Unfortunately, although I have a desire to continue studying, it seems to be impossible. Firstly, my novel job requires working extended hours. I used to finish my day at 6:00 pm but nowadays I have to work till 9:30 pm. Secondly, I have just moved from my apartments that were located near the school to a new house that is near my office to save my time on commuting. Thus, I will not have enough time to continue my course.

Finally, I would like to get a full refund for the next term because I paid in advance. It will be convenient to get my money on my credit card. I would also like to sell my textbooks. They are hardly used, so maybe someone of your listeners would like to buy them for a half of the price.

I am waiting for your prompt response.

Sincerely yours,

Eugene Dubinchuk

Votes
Average: 6.6 (3 votes)

Comments

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, thus

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 7.48453608247 80% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 4.92783505155 122% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 5.05154639175 40% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 3.03092783505 198% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 32.9175257732 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 35.0 26.3917525773 133% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 3.85567010309 130% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1016.0 937.175257732 108% => OK
No of words: 232.0 206.0 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.37931034483 4.54256449028 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.90276135726 3.78020617076 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60925078426 2.54303337028 103% => OK
Unique words: 140.0 127.690721649 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.603448275862 0.622605031667 97% => OK
syllable_count: 320.4 290.88556701 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.41237113402 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.13402061856 153% => OK
Article: 0.0 0.824742268041 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.83505154639 54% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 1.44329896907 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 12.6804123711 118% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 16.3608247423 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.0959117244 44.8134815571 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 67.7333333333 76.5299724578 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.4666666667 16.8248392259 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.66666666667 4.34317383033 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.29896907216 116% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 2.54639175258 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 7.41237113402 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.49484536082 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.94845360825 101% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.124026582863 0.216113520407 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0487122018572 0.0766984524023 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.056498105225 0.0603063233224 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0773442924307 0.12726935374 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0574312118437 0.0580467560999 99% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 6.9 8.37731958763 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.17 70.7449484536 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 3.82989690722 81% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 7.45979381443 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.83 8.71597938144 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.31 7.59969072165 96% => OK
difficult_words: 43.0 41.2886597938 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 8.62886597938 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 8.54432989691 94% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 8.15463917526 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

I am writing to inform you that I discontinue the course.
I am writing to inform you that I will discontinue the course.

flaws:
1. automated_readability_index: 6.9 8.37731958763 82% => Automated_readability_index is low for two reasons:

a. the sentences are short compared to the average length.

b. some words are too simple.

---------------------
2. Pronoun: 45.0 32.9175257732 137% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not use 'I' or 'it' as the subject as sentences, unless we have to. for example:

Unfortunately, although I have a desire to continue studying, it seems to be impossible.

revised:
Unfortunately, my great desire to continue studying seems impossible.

----------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 234 250
No. of Characters: 960 1200
No. of Different Words: 140 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.911 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.103 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.499 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 61 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 45 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 28 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 15 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.765 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.888 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.358 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.71 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5

Dear Sir,

may you describe shortly what are requirements to a decent essay?

My exam is looming on the horizon but I could not grasp the difference between good and bad essay.
I usually do not have problems with grammar, so I think that if I know the requirements, I will write nice essays.

From you previous commentaries I learnt that essay ought to be at least 200 words.

Words and structures, should not be repeated too often

I should give two reasons to each bullet point.

What do I miss?
Thank you.

For a decent essay, it simply means minor or no flaws in the essays. Either e-grader or human graders are actively looking for the flaws. The less flaws, the more marks. So it is wrong to try to bring a list for what I should do, instead, keep in mind what I should not do.

The biggest issue for you is neither grammar, nor sentences, it is the understanding of the topic and the structure. You have some flaws in grammar, or sentences, but they are not serious. Other users have these or those issue too. It is very important for you to put more time on the topic before writing. Make sure it is right on the topic. Then you should get a very decent score.