Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Essay topics:

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

There is no doubt that children’s eating patterns in this era has become unhealthy. It has generated childhood obesity in many parts of the world. Some people believe that both schools and parents should have strategies to tackle this problem. For some reasons, I totally agree with the idea. However, I also believe that there are several measurements to consider preventing such overweigh children’s issue.

Over last two decades, the number of obese youngsters aged 6 until 11 years old has increased dramatically by more than 50 percent. There are several factors behind this. First and foremost, the most crucial reason is unhealthy diet. Many children are more likely eating fast food which has rich calories. In school, they consume snacks with high in fat, sugar, and salt. This condition is getting worse as parents’ unawareness of their menu in home. Both father and mother are busy of their work and do not have time to provide nutritious meals. Another factor is less of physical activities. In the past, children had been through their time playing outdoors. In contrast, today’s young generations tends to spend much time indoor by sitting in front of computer, television, or kinds of modern device. As a result, these bad habits have damaged children’s growth process and have encouraged diseases especially obesity.

Since overweigh issue is established in early childhood, some people believe that teachers and parents should play some methods to deal with. They have important role to reduce and prevent kid obesity by modeling healthy life, balancing exercise, and supplying good nutrients on their foods. By involving the whole school and family members, these strategies may bring positive impact and gradually minimize children’s health problems. Furthermore, I think government and some particular community also have substantial capacity to solve this. The government should implement such regulation to restrict fast food advertisements and the community can campaign good lifestyle to public.

In conclusion, I would argue that kid’s diet and exercise in school and home can reduce the risk of children’s health. On the other hand, the policymakers and several organizations are able to adress this problem as well.

Votes
Average: 6.8 (4 votes)

Comments

children's eating patterns in this era has become
children's eating patterns in this era have become

today’s young generations tends to spend
today’s young generations tend to spend

Sentence: However, I also believe that there are several measurements to consider preventing such overweigh children's issue.
Error: overweigh Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Since overweigh issue is established in early childhood, some people believe that teachers and parents should play some methods to deal with.
Error: overweigh Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: On the other hand, the policymakers and several organizations are able to adress this problem as well.
Error: adress Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
'an unhealthy lifestyle' doesn't only mean 'children’s eating patterns'

Avg. Sentence Length: 15.435 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.115 7.5

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 355 350
No. of Characters: 1842 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.341 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.189 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.605 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.435 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.115 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.391 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.251 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.411 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.021 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5