In the modern society, shopping as a free time hobby, is replacing traditional hobbies. What are the reasons of this and is this positive or negative?
These days, a number of people are shopping in their own leisure time, for, although, there are several reasons, the crucial reason why people are shipping in their spare time is the development of technology such as online shopping. Consequently, the shopping leads to replacing traditional hobbies. I believe that it exerts a negative effect on society because the shopping makes people likely overspend.
With the development of technology, beautiful and great products such as clothes, computers and mobile phones have invented in the modern society. People tend to do, buy and like what they interest, and then the products give people a variety of opportunities in which people get used to offline and online shopping. Hence, they have no regard for the traditional hobbies gradually. Therefore, the development of technology causes people to shipping easily when they have spare time.
However, the opportunities which people are shopping easily from are to have a bad influence on humans since they are overspending. As the shopping easier than past via information which people get easily via Internet, the people are purchasing the products although they do not need to buy them. For example, when I see some promotion advertisements such as clothes, shoes and computer accessories, I am apt to buy them because it is just cheap even if I do not need the items. Thus as the reason that shopping become easier, it makes people consume plenty of money though they do not need.
In conclusion, shopping take the place of traditional hobbies because, with development of technology, people become used to shopping in comparison to past. Yet, I think that it affect people negatively since it has people overspend.
Sentence: These days, a number of people are shopping in their own leisure time, for, although, there are several reasons, the crucial reason why people are shipping in their spare time is the development of technology such as online shopping.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a comma
Suggestion: Refer to for and ,
the shopping leads to replacing traditional hobbies.
the shopping leads to replacing the traditional hobbies.
As the shopping easier than
As the shopping is easier than
Sentence: Thus as the reason that shopping become easier, it makes people consume plenty of money though they do not need.
Description: A verb, present participle or gerund is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to shopping and become
Sentence: In conclusion, shopping take the place of traditional hobbies because, with development of technology, people become used to shopping in comparison to past.
Description: A verb, present participle or gerund is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to shopping and take
Sentence: Yet, I think that it affect people negatively since it has people overspend.
Description: The fragment it affect people is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace affect with verb, past tense
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 280 350
No. of Characters: 1402 1500
No. of Different Words: 136 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.091 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.007 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.72 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.538 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.906 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.412 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.605 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5