nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because we see the same TV shows,advertisement,fashion and follow the same brand.to what extend the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Essay topics:

nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because we see the same TV shows,advertisement,fashion and follow the same brand.to what extend the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

A advertisement is one which sells the product without drawing attention to itself.Presently,some proportion of people asserts that,by adornment differences between nations are less evident.By contrast others have conflicting views.Here I would like to accord with given statement.

One school of thought believes that,human lifestyles has pampered in the lap of technology,which make life very convenient.For instance,the prevalence of adornment is gaining round radically,where people of different nations watch the same advertisement,where they get same news and product.Hence,people from various countries becoming less evident by viewing same shows.In addition,couple of television shows are telecast on television channel where people enjoy with their kith and kins and also try to do some fun frolic activities while watching reality shows.

Further emphasizing on my point of view,the owner of clothing brands hire the prominent celebrities who have ample of fans all over the world.For example nike brand is prevalence all over the world and company hired mr.Rahul dravid as a brand ambassador who is knows as tailor made for his batting .Hence,company earns back and belly by telecast such prominent personality on television.

Another school of thought believes that,by having busiest lifestyle people do not have enough time to for watching television.Moreover,plenty viewers changes the channel when the saw adornment on television.Hence,no avident is becoming fewer better between nations.

To recapitulate,A pen is mightier then a sword.people do not like to watch advertisement due to less time.However,adornments made life very convenient and the source of entertainment,

Votes
Average: 7 (2 votes)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

human lifestyles has pampered in the lap of technology,which make life very convenient.
human lifestyles have pampered in the lap of technology, which makes life very convenient.

people from various countries becoming less evident
people from various countries are becoming less evident

nike brand is prevalence
nike brand is prevalent

plenty viewers changes the channel when the saw adornment
plenty viewers change the channels when they saw adornments

A pen is mightier then a sword
A pen is mightier than a sword

Sentence: ambassador who is knows as tailor made for his batting .Hence,company earns back and belly by telecast such prominent personality on television.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and knows
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to telecast and such

Sentence: Another school of thought believes that,by having busiest lifestyle people do not have enough time to for watching television.Moreover,plenty viewers changes the channel when the saw adornment on television.Hence,no avident is becoming fewer better between nations.
Error: avident Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 6 15
No. of Words: 271 350
No. of Characters: 1408 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.057 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.196 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.744 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 104 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 45.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 22.512 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.45 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.881 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.042 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

you need:

1. Always put a space after punctuation marks. You don't have a correct format which may affect essay e-rater.

2. The sentence formation and ideas are great. You only need to put more content to reach 7.0. Read a real story by a testbig user why more content:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/some-people-prefer-spend-their-live…

3. Try to have 5 paragraphs and give more emphasis to the side you support:

paragraph 1: introduction. Your ideas/opinions here.

paragraph 2: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side A. First, ... Second, ...

paragraph 3: However, still I support side B. reason 1 + why reason 1 + example for reason 1 + a small conclusion for reason 1.

paragraph 4: In addition, reason 2 + why reason 2 + example for reason 2+ a small conclusion for reason 2.

paragraph 5: conclusion.
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4. Remove all grammatical errors. it is hard to get 7.0 with a lot of grammar issues.

5. Your languages are good enough. But still you may read more essays by top users and follow their writing skills:

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Let us know if you have more questions.

1. Have a correct format. Leave a space after punctuation marks. Examiners hate it if you don't follow this rule. They got tired all day to read essays.

2. Put more content. As much as you can. So how to put more content? You don't just put one idea and then go to another idea. You need to develop your ideas. like this:

First, reason (idea) 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).

Second, reason 2, blabla... do the same thing as First

An simple example (Eating at home or restaurant) for paragraph 2:
Para 2: First, reason 1 (1 sentence: Eating at home can save money) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences: I can prepare cheaper food from food market; I don't need to drive or take a bus to reach the restaurant; I don't need to pay tips...) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentence: for example, a sandwich can cost me $10 at restaurant, but it only cost me $5 at home.) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences: with the money I saved, I can buy a good book to read; I can use the money for a trip...).
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maybe you can't get this exactly in this short time, so simply put more examples which will give more content.

3. Leave around 5 minutes double check grammar issues. Make sure sentences are grammatically correct. This is very important. Don't write some sentences you are not sure, only write something you are pretty sure. and then double check and double check.

4. There are some pattern sentences in your essays. If you can replace them with other sentences, that will be great. However since you will go exam tomorrow, you can still keep them but try your best using them as less as possible.

5. We understand you have the capacity to get 6.5-7.0 if you follow our suggestions since you have a good language. Do your best and let us know your good news.