The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health.
To what extent do you agree with these views?
In modern era, many people are suffering from heath problems, which is due to obesity, especially in developed counties. In developed countries, some people believe that number of overweight children are increasing due to majority of fast foods and others think that children's overweight is due to parents who neglected children's health. My inclination is argued further.
To begin with, American fast food restaurants have succeeded through out the globe. The reason why the popularity of the fast food outlets is because they serve the tasty food for a reasonable price. The other reason is, 70% of food outlets are maintained with small play grounds, which attracts children to play. Even though the food, which is prepared in restaurant, is loaded with high fat content, school children are attracting towards the food outlets. For instance, one of my friends used to have a KFC Hamburger which contains 600 calories, while Pepsi has 155 calories, in meals. It means, if he eat that, he will have nearly 800 calories. As a result, he will have a lot of weight gain.
Another, equally important reason is, parents are not looking after their children's activities : a lack of energy balance and waste of pocket money, which might cause overweight. For example, one of my cousins children spend lot of time watching TV while munching snack food, so that he does not burn even a little bit of weight. Also, parents in rich countries are encouraging children by giving extra pocket money. With the extra pocket money, children could buy their necessities.
By the way of conclusion, considering the two factors as the reasons for overweight in children in developed countries. However, I think, parents should take care of their children to maintain health life.
In modern era,
In a modern era,
In the modern era,
The reason why the popularity of the fast food outlets is because
The reason for the popularity of the fast food outlets is because
Sentence: It means, if he eat that, he will have nearly 800 calories.
Description: The fragment he eat that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace eat with verb, past tense
Sentence: For example, one of my cousins children spend lot of time watching TV while munching snack food, so that he does not burn even a little bit of weight.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to cousins and children
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 291 350
No. of Characters: 1426 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.13 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.9 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.55 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 104 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.188 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.384 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.536 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.151 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5