In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?
Shopping has always played a major role in family time. We can easily notice that, recently, it has changed its figures evolving from a boring and necessary household task, to reach a more entertaining connotation. In my opinion, this is mainly due to the incipient technology that dominates our lifestyles and some cultural and working changes that we experienced in the last decades.
Firstly, the possibility to shopping online, comfortably clicking on a webpage what you want to buy, regardless of time and setting, is a major component in pushing more and more people to shop on-line and to th...
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Comments
Thank you!I'll keep practice
Thank you!I'll keep practice and I'll try to follow your suggestions!
flaws:
It is great. Some improvements:
In the introduction paragraph, you can give a reasonable not a dogmatic statement.
In the paragraph 4, better to have a qualification -- moderate your position. This may involve a sentence beginning with "but" or "however".... for example, shopping as a hobby may waste time and money...
In the paragraph 5 for the conclusion, you can go back and reinforce the thesis: still advantages are more than disadvantages.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 335 350
No. of Characters: 1621 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.278 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.839 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.827 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.929 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.032 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.597 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.156 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5