Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?
The current research comes out with the idea that our personality and development is mainly shaped by the characteristics we are born rather than the experiences we may have in our life. However, I believe that experiences have significant influence on our personality and development for different reasons.
One of the main reasons why experiences play a vital role is that we learn many things from our surrounding environment and this learning affects our personality to a large extent rather than our innate genes. For example, if a person, whose parents are from the affluent society, are brought up in the harsh environment with no basic amenities, his behavior and personality mostly matches with the deprived children rather than with the children who are brought up in wealthy environment. Thus, it is clear from this example that genes play no key roles in shaping anyone's personality.
Furthermore, we are living in this advanced world with sophisticated technology by the contribution of continuous hard work from different scientists and technologists and we recognize them for their invaluable contribution to the society which is only possible by the experiences they have in their respective field not mainly by the talent they obtain by their genes. In addition, we have seen many famous leaders who have come to the light because of their hard-work and dedication to the society, where the role of family genes doesn't come into account at all.
In conclusion, our personality and development is highly influenced by the experiences we face in our life; however, characteristics we are born may have little bit effect on it but it is almost negligible in a large span of human life.
if a person, whose parents are from the affluent society, are brought up
if a person, whose parents are from the affluent society, is brought up
his behavior and personality mostly matches with the deprived children
his behavior and personality mostly match with the deprived children
we recognize them for their invaluable contribution to the society
we recognize them for their invaluable contributions to the society //here 'them' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronoun.
our personality and development is highly influenced
our personality and development are highly influenced
flaws:
1. No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
2. You may put one more paragraph talking about the influence of characteristics we are born with.
3. Avg. Sentence Length: 35 21.0 //sentences are too long, for example:
'we are living in this advanced world with sophisticated technology by the contribution of continuous hard work from different scientists and technologists and we recognize them for their invaluable contribution to the society which is only possible by the experiences they have in their respective field not mainly by the talent they obtain by their genes.'
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 280 350
No. of Characters: 1399 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.091 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.996 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.98 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 93 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.826 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.476 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.744 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.248 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5