School should prepare pupils for their fute lives and for the world of employment. Learning about history is not necessary and more emphasis should be placed on other school subjects.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Apparently, the futures of new generations have been concerned by the way of in school time. It is often claimed that pupils should be taught the subjects which are more important for them in order to study history. Particularly, children need to be prepared for the world of employment. In my point of view that I quite disagree in this statement because of without the past the future has difficulty to be perfect for children, and then in the further paragraphs I will attempt to elucidate my viewpoint.
First of all, in today’s world there are more and more people who have gotten successful in their life, are said the great individuals in their time. To be more clearly, they have the vital histories of their longevity. That is to say, children may achieve the potential succeed in the future as those, when they have to be taught the history by equally as other specific curriculums in school. For example, a pupil whose really wish to be the great scientist, has been inspired to those who were the genus in the past. That is why school should pay more attention the subject of history.
However, it is an undeniable fact that in modern life, not many jobs depends on the past time, so that it is often believed that pupils have to put effort into school subjects such as art so as to history due to the fact that they may paint pictures throughout their good thinkable knowledge. Needles to say, I still opposite of this view for this reason that although pupil may create new pictures, they cannot impress people with their talent of abilities as great members of histories as possible like Leonardo Da Vinci.
By way of a conclusion, regardless of the fact that school can easily create the potential future for pupils by teaching history as other subjects as important.
Sentence: Apparently, the futures of new generations have been concerned by the way of in school time.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to of and in
which are more important for them in order to study history.
which are more important for them than study history.
Sentence: In my point of view that I quite disagree in this statement because of without the past the future has difficulty to be perfect for children, and then in the further paragraphs I will attempt to elucidate my viewpoint.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to of and without
Sentence: First of all, in today's world there are more and more people who have gotten successful in their life, are said the great individuals in their time.
Description: what is the subject for 'are'? can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: That is to say, children may achieve the potential succeed in the future as those, when they have to be taught the history by equally as other specific curriculums in school.
Description: The fragment potential succeed in is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace succeed with noun.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 314 350
No. of Characters: 1439 1500
No. of Different Words: 159 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.21 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.583 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.429 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 98 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.536 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.574 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5