In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Essay topics:

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

The best place to build the children’s perspicacity is school. Several youngsters have to force their academic achievements although it can reduce their leisure time. Therefore, I offer some possible solutions that can overcome this case.

The most influence in killing students to enjoy their time is parents. Parents usually want their children to get a highest attainment in the school despite there is forcefulness to boost them. The parents in urban city like Makassar, especially the wealthy family, are always registering their children to get an extra lesson in the afternoon after the formal school schedule. Although this will be better in developing children comprehension of their study, the children’s time actually have been seized.

The spread of competition around academic atmosphere also influences in this trend. Students race to get an achievement in a competition and it has to be paid by wasting their time to learn while other youngster enjoy their free time. The students have to follow this way because of prestigious accolade. For example, in Indonesia, The Ministry of Education and Cultural always organizes PIMNAS (National Scientific Students Competition). More than a thousand college students in every year, force their ability even time just to be a candidate to achieve the grant of this competition. Furthermore, the quality of student can be seen base on their curriculum vitae which shows what the children had achieved. All in all, the competitions drop the children in rat race activity unintentionally, just to get a highest goal.

Actually, to resolve this problem, the parents have to realize that their children need amount of leisure time to refresh their mind. There is no the good result, if the process of obtaining knowledge is in under compression. In addition, the headmaster has to make a regulation to arrange specific time in refreshing before the pupils face the examination. It can be a possible solution to assuage the students’ tension in facing national examination. On the other hand, the foundation to overcome this problem is the children themselves. They have to know how to manage their time efficiently and how to use time wisely. Studying under compression will decrease the students’ creativity and productivity. As a result, if these suggestions aforementioned can be applied in education area, the process of education without depression will be created. Besides getting the best goal in education, the students also enjoy their leisure time as their quality moment.

According to explanation above, I conclude that all people who take responsibility of this case must realize of the ideal process of learning without reducing the children chance to taking relaxation.

Votes
Average: 7.7 (3 votes)

Comments

despite there is forcefulness to boost them.
Description: Check books how to use 'Despite '

Sentence: Although this will be better in developing children comprehension of their study, the children's time actually have been seized.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and comprehension

The Ministry of Education and Cultural always organizes PIMNAS
The Ministry of Education and Cultural always organize PIMNAS

base on their curriculum vitae
based on their curriculum vitae

There is no the good result,
There is no good result,

Sentence: For example, in Indonesia, The Ministry of Education and Cultural always organizes PIMNAS National Scientific Students Competition.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to Students and Competition

Sentence: All in all, the competitions drop the children in rat race activity unintentionally, just to get a highest goal.
Description: The token a is not usually followed by an adjective, superlative
Suggestion: Refer to a and highest

Sentence: According to explanation above, I conclude that all people who take responsibility of this case must realize of the ideal process of learning without reducing the children chance to taking relaxation.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and chance

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Words: 434 while No. of Different Words: 230

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 434 350
No. of Characters: 2252 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.564 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.189 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.865 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 169 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 101 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.083 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.937 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.284 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.47 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.049 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5