Some people think that it is good to start to work at an early age. Others feel that it is better only to study. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Studying is the most important stage in any person’s life. That process not only gives basic education but also determines his or her qualities and life position. Therefore, studying hard at school or college is essential for getting knowledge and relevant experience. However, many teenagers start combining learning and working at an early age. Is it a good idea or is it better to make every effort to study only? Below I will reflect on it. Personally, I think that at school age it is better to study only, for which I have three arguments.
First, in school there are a plenty of subjects and pupils must make every effort to study them without spending time on practicing in additional work. For instance, I have 16 subjects and my duty is to study them perfectly because my marks depend on how I master them.
Second, school age is the age, which a person should enjoy and should not be bored with work. By this, I mean that there is no need to start work at an early age because further pupils will have to work to provide themselves and their family.
Third, because of the lack of time, it is impossible to work and study. By this, I mean that studying in senior grades, for example, students spend a lot of time on preparation for numerous exams: UNT, SAT, IELTS, TOEFL, and the like. Of course, there is no time to work if you want to prepare even for one of them properly.
However, I understand those who feel that it is good to combine work and studying. Probably, they think so because teenagers who work at an early age are more organized than pupils who just study at school. In addition, work gives them experience, which they will use in the future. Having pocket money is another thing why it is not bad to study and work.
To sum up, everyone can choose what he wants. If he wants to study only, he should make effort to study. If he is sure he can combine work with studies, he will do it because it is his choice.
there are a plenty of subjects and pupils must make every effort to study them without spending time
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
flaws:
Don't put two sentences as one paragraph.
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Try this pattern to put more content in one paragraph:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing as First
Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing as First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 358 350
No. of Characters: 1528 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.35 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.268 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.244 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 91 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.048 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.035 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.164 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5