Some schools agree that fast food restaurants and supermarkets can promote their products in school and that schools benefit from it. Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay topics:

Some schools agree that fast food restaurants and supermarkets can promote their products in school and that schools benefit from it. Is it a positive or negative development?

It is no doubt true that there is a positive attitude towards settling of fast food restaurants and supermarkets at schools. There is a consensus amongst some schools with regard to this trend and I believe that commercialization at school would be highly beneficial to both markets and schools.

The first point to note is that supermarkets and restaurants can benefit from establishing at school due to numerous reasons. Firstly, since students spent most of their time at school, they are more willing to have their meals with their peers at schools. This has an excellent effect on the economic of these commercial sectors which will flourish their source of revenue. Another positive factor is becoming reputable. Once their products penetrate in children's mind, they become loyal to that product and also share them with their family members. Consequently, the fast food restaurants and supermarkets which sell at school find themselves among top brand products in society.

Furthermore, I believe that there would be several advantages for schools too. Recently, schools are deprived of sufficient budget to provide staff and students whit great facilities. Thus,they can count on earning income by renting some stalls to supermarkets and fast food restaurants. At the same time, students will find schools as a pleasant atmosphere and they are more likely to attend school and enjoy their study.

In conclusion, from my viewpoint, it is undisputed that commercialization of schools bear several merits namely joyful ambiance and boosting economy for both schools and markets.

Votes
Average: 3.7 (3 votes)

Comments

flaws:
No. of Words: 251 350 //More content wanted. Read a real story by a testbig user why more content:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/some-people-prefer-spend-their-live…

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 251 350
No. of Characters: 1309 1500
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.98 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.215 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.823 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.308 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.662 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.548 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.052 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

Hi Dear essay E-rater,

Would you please make it clear what do you mean by "more content wanted". It is my second essay that you recommend me more content wanted.
I think I have to write more than 250 words. Maybe 251 is not good to get at least 7. Am I right?
Thanks a lot for your great contributions.