Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities.To what extent do you agre

Essay topics:

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In this global economy, foreign investors could easily expand their business in targeted countries. As the proof of that, they already have been spreading their franchise out of legal understanding between two countries. As result, the local industries will end at an unpredictable time, some people might say that the closure terminates local communities.
As the weakening small business, domestic entrepreneur desperately leaves the traditional market, and start to join a multilevel business. In Indonesia, supermarkets march head-to-head in the beginning of the street until the edge of the road. It affects ineffectively to local markets, they would be located in nonstrategic places where nobody will come and see. After one year, the domestic sellers will close their shop due to insufficient income. Alternatively, they will rent a square room in the supermarket to sell their product with an additional tax.
Within that situation, the domestic businessman will depend on their product mortality on foreign interest. Consequently, the foreign investors will gain more money rather than native sellers. Yet, the investors can monopolize the movement of local markets. Once the domestic sellers can be manipulated by their bosses, their genuinely products characteristic would be disappeared. For instance, the name tag of local branded will change due to the unfair decision among foreign stakeholders.
Above all, the morality of local market will be occupied by the existence of supermarket due to it is weakness and lack of funds. Moreover, 80% of strategic places are dominated by giant markets, and many local businessmen frustrate about their existence and soon they will emerge on their business opponents.

Votes
Average: 5.3 (3 votes)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... closure terminates local communities. As the weakening small business, domestic ...
^^
Line 2, column 98, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sperately leaves the traditional market, and start to join a multilevel business....
^^
Line 4, column 310, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ill emerge on their business opponents.
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, moreover, so, for instance

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 13.1623246493 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 7.85571142285 191% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 10.4138276553 48% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 24.0651302605 79% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 41.998997996 90% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1464.0 1615.20841683 91% => OK
No of words: 264.0 315.596192385 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.54545454545 5.12529762239 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03089032464 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02135041172 2.80592935109 108% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 176.041082164 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.621212121212 0.561755894193 111% => OK
syllable_count: 451.8 506.74238477 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.384769539078 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 2.52805611222 277% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 26.1622289231 49.4020404114 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 97.6 106.682146367 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6 20.7667163134 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.66666666667 7.06120827912 38% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.67935871743 46% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.9879759519 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.238669327831 0.244688304435 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0780833269057 0.084324248473 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0715870393452 0.0667982634062 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156458935867 0.151304729494 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0596975209518 0.056905535591 105% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 13.0946893788 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.76 50.2224549098 91% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.61 12.4159519038 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.14 8.58950901804 106% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 78.4519038076 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 9.78957915832 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.