Some people believe that sport competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sport competitions. Do you agree or disagree?

Essay topics:

Some people believe that sport competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sport competitions. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays sport competition usually brings a fight between the young supporters. This has led to an advice that the young people should be forbidden from competition arena. This essay will argue some points of agreement and disagreement for both sides.

This is my disagreement reason. In teenagers age, human's hormones are developed. This stage makes a person's adrenaline increases and causes high temprament. From biology system, it is very normal. The mistake is not placed in the youth self, so banned them as supporters is not a wise solution.

However, some people argue that there are boys that basically choose to solve league problem emotionally. Well, yes they are exist and they are considered for the banning. For example in Surabaya, Indonesia, there is a community of soccer supporter called Bonek. This group is involved into fighting for hundreeds times. Moreover, they do not like to pay any fee for accommodation, everytime they want to cheer their team. It is better for people not to see them in arena.

Somehow, they are still humans. They will smile and be friendly if they talk as personaly eventhough, they talk to another team supporter. They will be a metal person only on supporters area. Banning them are easy way but it looks like hopeless solution in humanity.

From these explanations, we must look at another object, such as the competition. probably the mistake comes from the competition itself. Sometime, a competition is set for a gambling. A winner is chosen before a competition begins. The unfair play brings conflict between supporters.
Also, there are some people who use the conflict for politics purpose and media headline. Therefore, in the name of money, there is no need to look for hue solution.

To sum up, I stay in my disagreement. Banning youngsters will overcome no problems over sport cheos.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 97, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'advice'.
Suggestion: advice
...n the young supporters. This has led to an advice that the young people should be forbidd...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ent and disagreement for both sides. This is my disagreement reason. In teenagers...
^^^^
Line 3, column 101, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...mones are developed. This stage makes a persons adrenaline increases and causes high te...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 126, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'existed'.
Suggestion: existed
...problem emotionally. Well, yes they are exist and they are considered for the banning...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 176, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'supporters'' or 'supporter's'?
Suggestion: supporters'; supporter's
...er. They will be a metal person only on supporters area. Banning them are easy way but it ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 65, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... we must look at another object, such as the competition. probably the mistake co...
^^
Line 9, column 84, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Probably
...other object, such as the competition. probably the mistake comes from the competition ...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, look, moreover, so, still, therefore, well, for example, such as, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 13.1623246493 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 24.0651302605 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 32.0 41.998997996 76% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.3376753507 180% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1557.0 1615.20841683 96% => OK
No of words: 306.0 315.596192385 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08823529412 5.12529762239 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18244613648 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77180634588 2.80592935109 99% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 176.041082164 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.601307189542 0.561755894193 107% => OK
syllable_count: 486.9 506.74238477 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 5.43587174349 258% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 0.0 0.384769539078 0% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 16.0721442886 168% => OK
Sentence length: 11.0 20.2975951904 54% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 22.6531065709 49.4020404114 46% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 57.6666666667 106.682146367 54% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 11.3333333333 20.7667163134 55% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 3.66666666667 7.06120827912 52% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 7.0 4.38176352705 160% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.01903807615 139% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.9879759519 276% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 3.4128256513 176% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.234563120727 0.244688304435 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0553782659232 0.084324248473 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0495377050543 0.0667982634062 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108060492482 0.151304729494 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0622210493653 0.056905535591 109% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.2 13.0946893788 63% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.31 50.2224549098 120% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 11.3001002004 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.06 12.4159519038 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.58950901804 97% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 78.4519038076 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.0 9.78957915832 51% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 6.4 10.1190380762 63% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.7795591182 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.