Some people consider that school education should be concentrated on academic subjects, which would be helpful for their future careers, and subjects like music and sport are not useful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
An infant’s future life is successful or not, it all depends on what the child studied and learnt in his or her school. This is why some people think it is more imperative for children to study academic subjects than physical, psychological subjects. Personally, I completely disagree with this point of view
Firstly, STEM ( science, technology, engineering and mathematics) only will cultivate the child’s mind in a highly robotic way. Calculating and analysing may raise students’s intelligent but emotion (like EQ) which will not be considered as creative and dynamic for the youngsters. One study found that the ones who took non-academic subjects as options in school curriculum increased their IQ and EQ scores by 2.5 points compared with who did not have those lessons. Hence, for those who do not take physical or music education will create a lower rate of being recruited.
Secondly, education liberty is a privilege of school-takers, though music or art subjects are not compulsory subjects but one thing is certain, most of pupils would make these fun objects no longer be optional subjects if they have authority to do so. Education should be geared to the students’s needs and abilities so that school will become their second home where they can express themselves more comfortably. As a result, youngsters are informed with constitutional, applicable and essential information and skills and are prepared with superior qualities to function as individual members of society which is necessary for their future career.
Overall, it is true that further and higher education requires academic qualification. However, for a better future career, school curriculum should include both sides of educating, academic and non-academic courses
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...etely disagree with this point of view Firstly, STEM science, technology, engi...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...is point of view Firstly, STEM science, technology, engineering and mat...
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Line 2, column 119, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('highly') instead an adjective, or a noun ('robotic') instead of another adjective.
...will cultivate the child's mind in a highly robotic way. Calculating and analysing may rais...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...reate a lower rate of being recruited. Secondly, education liberty is a privile...
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Line 3, column 154, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the pupils') or simply say ''most pupils''.
Suggestion: most of the pupils; most pupils
...sory subjects but one thing is certain, most of pupils would make these fun objects no longer ...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... is necessary for their future career. Overall, it is true that further and hig...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, as a result, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 10.4138276553 163% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 24.0651302605 83% => OK
Preposition: 20.0 41.998997996 48% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1495.0 1615.20841683 93% => OK
No of words: 275.0 315.596192385 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.43636363636 5.12529762239 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.07223819929 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10585477515 2.80592935109 111% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 176.041082164 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.658181818182 0.561755894193 117% => OK
syllable_count: 468.9 506.74238477 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.384769539078 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.76152304609 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 16.0721442886 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 50.2236321182 49.4020404114 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.909090909 106.682146367 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0 20.7667163134 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.27272727273 7.06120827912 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.01903807615 120% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.336949272717 0.244688304435 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.113230832643 0.084324248473 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0500213400001 0.0667982634062 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.181521794554 0.151304729494 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0280866494546 0.056905535591 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 13.0946893788 128% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 50.2224549098 75% => OK
smog_index: 13.0 7.44779559118 175% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 11.3001002004 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.57 12.4159519038 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.76 8.58950901804 114% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 78.4519038076 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 9.78957915832 133% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.