4.Television advertising directed toward young children should not be allowed.
In my opinion, age of young children who have two to five years old is a very important part of their life. It is the best time to learn, do and form base of our own self, charectristics and features. Television advertising affect young children and permission to do this need to think about advantages and disadvantages of it. Actually, although there are many good reasons why some people let television advertising direct toward the young children, I support the idea that we shouldn’t permit this to the children because it leads to happen probably events in their future. Two personal experiences convince me that avoiding children from tv advertising provides a better life style and I want to discuss them.
In the first place, one of the most important advantage to avoid children is the chance to be causious and take care of perils. In these ages, children memic from every thing in around them and do according to what they see or hear. In tv advertising there are a lot of dangress and action works that children may do them. For instance, when I was a child and had 4 years old, I saw an advertising in tv. It showed a woman that works with a nife and fastly cut the fruits. She made a very beautiful full plates of bananas, lemons, apples, orranges and etc. They were very nice. It attracted me to do this work. Then I brought all fruits which we had in our refrigerator and took the nife that was very sharp and I start to cut them as quickly as I can. After a while I hurt my self and cut through my finger. It was very terrible to me to make this bad experience and I never forgot that. If my mother kept me from watching tv, maybe I never fear from nife. I dread it yet. As you can see, it is essential to avoid children from tv advertising.
Second, a huge profit is option of learning faults and wrong works in this situation. Young children are learning more in this level of their life. they can learn wrong ways from tv advertising that is shown to them and it isn’t appropriate with their age. For example, when I was five, I saw a struggle between 2 brothers that wanted to win a car. This advertising was about hyunda car. In end of advertising, they faced together and before settling the conflict they used the words that was very ugly. That words were new for me and I didn’t know that means. So when I was in a party with my familly I said that words and every one saw me wonderly. It was wondering to me why they saw me. Then my mother said me that it was wrong to tell them front of another person. This experience thought me that it’s not true to say every thing I learn from tv.
In sum, both of manner to allow to the work or not is fine, but I think that it isn’t neccessary to let them from this age to be directed to tv advertising. Not only will we take care of them from dangers but also we can cause they don’t learn about things that isn’t fit to their age. I recommend every parrent should be awar to be causious about this subject to keep children from every bad situation.
Sentence: In my opinion, age of young children who have two to five years old is a very important part of their life.
Description: The fragment years old is is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace old with adverb
to learn, do and form base of our own self,
to learn, do and form the base of ourselves,
Sentence: Actually, although there are many good reasons why some people let television advertising direct toward the young children, I support the idea that we shouldn't permit this to the children because it leads to happen probably events in their future.
Description: The fragment advertising direct toward is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace direct with adverb
a lot of dangress and action works
a lot of dangerous and action works
Sentence: That words were new for me and I didn't know that means.
Description: The fragment new for me is not usually preceded by were
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace were with was
Sentence: In sum, both of manner to allow to the work or not is fine, but I think that it isn't neccessary to let them from this age to be directed to tv advertising.
Description: The tag a negator is not usually followed by is
Suggestion: Refer to not and is
but also we can cause they don't learn about things that isn't fit to their age.
but also we can cause them not to learn about things that are n't fit to their age.
Sentence: It is the best time to learn, do and form base of our own self, charectristics and features.
Error: charectristics Suggestion: characteristics
Sentence: In the first place, one of the most important advantage to avoid children is the chance to be causious and take care of perils.
Error: causious Suggestion: cautious
Sentence: In these ages, children memic from every thing in around them and do according to what they see or hear.
Error: memic Suggestion: medic
Sentence: In tv advertising there are a lot of dangress and action works that children may do them.
Error: dangress Suggestion: dangers
Sentence: It showed a woman that works with a nife and fastly cut the fruits.
Error: nife Suggestion: ?
Error: fastly Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: She made a very beautiful full plates of bananas, lemons, apples, orranges and etc. They were very nice.
Error: orranges Suggestion: arranges
Sentence: Then I brought all fruits which we had in our refrigerator and took the nife that was very sharp and I start to cut them as quickly as I can.
Error: nife Suggestion: ?
Sentence: If my mother kept me from watching tv, maybe I never fear from nife.
Error: nife Suggestion: ?
Sentence: So when I was in a party with my familly I said that words and every one saw me wonderly.
Error: wonderly Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: familly Suggestion: family
Sentence: In sum, both of manner to allow to the work or not is fine, but I think that it isn't neccessary to let them from this age to be directed to tv advertising.
Error: neccessary Suggestion: necessary
Sentence: I recommend every parrent should be awar to be causious about this subject to keep children from every bad situation.
Error: awar Suggestion: away
Error: parrent Suggestion: parent
Error: causious Suggestion: cautious
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 15 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 16 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 15 2
No. of Sentences: 31 15
No. of Words: 577 350
No. of Characters: 2386 1500
No. of Different Words: 260 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.901 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.135 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.358 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.613 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.995 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.452 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.411 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.157 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5