Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment – doing things they like to do – rather than doing things they should do.
Some people say that people these days focus on their personal enjoyment rather than things that are more important. However, there is no doubt that people cannot concentrate on their own happiness due to several facts. "21 century is a depleted copy of what has been thrived in 20 century" said Pansanghyung, one of a brilliant mind in the internet world. I am, to a huge extent, agree with this standpoint. In the ensuing paragraph, I will try to shed some lights on my perspective through ample examples and conspicuous reasons.
The exquisite point to be mentioned here is that people seemingly indulged in their personal joy is a delusion. On the contrary, people often corner themselves with a limited kind of retreatment due to the harsh living life they are facing. My personal experience will give an good example. When I was working around 10 hours a day without holiday, I could not do anything but to to phone games that do not require much of a brain usage. I used to have many kinds of hobby, but all that healthy habit of reading and learning all turned in vain due to the excessive amount of working hours that I had to fill in. This anecdote illustrates that the indulgement in a personal joy is not a result of forgetting what's important, but rather a consequence of harsh labor that young people face.
Another point to be mentioned here is that there is not much of things that young people should do, compared to the previous generation. The older people used to grown in an environment with rapid development and feasible chances of a class rising, so it was easier for them to set a rigid goal and pursue it robustly. However, in this era of 21 century, the world is not like before anymore. No one forces anyone to get involved in a certain kind of opportunity because they do not exist anymore. What young people are facing instead is a wide open distractors.
Although the aforementioned points are the first reasons to cross the mind at a first glance, it does not mean that they are the only one. Actually, there is another subtle point which must be borne in mind. It should be noted that people from the later years of 20 century were freer than people nowadays do. To be specific, with the rise of the 68 revolution all around Europe, hippie and yuppie culture rapidly spread across the ocean, far reaching the U.S. Those people that were engaged in the hippie culture used a lot of drugs for their spiritual enlightenment, and lived inside the alternative community that did not discriminate people with their gender, race, or ethnicity. This kind of freedom has vanished as the world developed more. And after the 2008 economic crisis, people lost their faith in the wealth and hope of advance.
To make a long story short from the above-mentioned points and reason, one can safely draw a conclusion from the above arguments that though people theses days are focusing on their personal enjoyment, it's rather a result of hopelessness and lack of goals. Furthermore, it is possibly an action towards increasing unpredictability of their life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 275, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...acing. My personal experience will give an good example. When I was working around...
^^
Line 2, column 378, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: to
...ut holiday, I could not do anything but to to phone games that do not require much of...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 468, Rule ID: MANY_KINDS_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'hobbies'?
Suggestion: hobbies
...ain usage. I used to have many kinds of hobby, but all that healthy habit of reading ...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 708, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: what's
...sonal joy is not a result of forgetting whats important, but rather a consequence of ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 162, Rule ID: PRP_PAST_PART[5]
Message: Did you mean 'grow'?
Suggestion: grow
...us generation. The older people used to grown in an environment with rapid developmen...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 346, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'century' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'centuries'.
Suggestion: centuries
...it robustly. However, in this era of 21 century, the world is not like before anymore. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 266, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'century' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'centuries'.
Suggestion: centuries
... that people from the later years of 20 century were freer than people nowadays do. To ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 203, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...e focusing on their personal enjoyment, its rather a result of hopelessness and lac...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, furthermore, however, if, so, kind of, no doubt, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 15.1003584229 179% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 77.0 52.1666666667 148% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2552.0 1977.66487455 129% => OK
No of words: 537.0 407.700716846 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.75232774674 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81386128306 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68660296315 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 290.0 212.727598566 136% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.540037243948 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 799.2 618.680645161 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Interrogative: 2.0 0.994623655914 201% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.7339064468 48.9658058833 142% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.333333333 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.375 20.6045352989 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.58333333333 5.45110844103 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.241757408913 0.236089414692 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0622038302483 0.076458572812 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0742861688051 0.0737576698707 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129399432276 0.150856017488 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0651862685956 0.0645574589148 101% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.57 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.14 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 116.0 86.8835125448 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.