Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smart phones, video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children’s development.
After arising new technology, in spite of great advantages, there have been some disadvantages that certainly involve children. A controversial question which is often raised regarding this issue is which activities are more useful and beneficial for children's development, playing games that are related to new technology like smart phone games or playing with friends and toys .As far as I am concerned, I adopt a firm position that playing outside or inside with friends or toys are much more reliable way for children' development particularly if parents choose their toys and friends. In what follows I will cogently pinpoint some conspicuous reasons to justify my point of view.
First of all, it is important to consider when children play with computer or smart phone games, their parents have not enough control on them, that is, parents usually are not interested in these games and therefore do not enough information about the negative and adverse effect of these games on children physically and spiritually. To illustrate that idea let's consider the following example. I remember my nephew, Arash, had some unpleasant behaviors like hitting and biting other children in family meetings or kindergarten. After a little while, his parent understood his offensive behaviors have originated from his tablet games that he installed without their permission.
Another significant point to be mentioned is that when children play with friends and toys, they certainly have enough physical movements that they haven't them when they play computer, smart phones, and video games. In fact, rather than computer and smart phone games, playing with friends or dolls compel children to be more active and move up and down therefore they certainly consume more energy and it helps them to be more healthy and grow with lower diseases and lower risks. By way of example, I can recall difference between my same nephew, Arash, and other nephew who his parents did not let him to play computer games without their permission and he are playing with his friends or toys more times. The former nephew is very active and has more flexible body and it is obvious that he is healthier.
Finally, when children play with friends or toys they could simulate some situations that would deal with them in the future. Parents could help their children in these plays to learn how they could communicate with other people or how they could trade, buy or do other works. Actually, in this way children learn some beneficial activity, which are more useful rather than something that they would learn from games that are related to technology. The results of a study conducted in my university indicate that new generation of young people have lower knowledge about their environments than the previous generation.
By way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I'm of the opinion that in most cases playing with toys, dolls, and friends are doubtlessly better way for children's development because in this way children are under their parents control in more times with higher exact, and they also have more physical movements, meanwhile they could simulate some specific positions in their plays that they would face in the future. Consequently, it is highly suggested that parents and authorities should put more emphasis on children activity and provide situations in which children could play outside with their friends for instance in parks, kindergarten or similar places to get used to leave computer or smart phone games gradually.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 379, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...e games or playing with friends and toys .As far as I am concerned, I adopt a firm...
^^
Line 1, column 381, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: As
...games or playing with friends and toys .As far as I am concerned, I adopt a firm p...
^^
Line 5, column 149, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: haven't
...ave enough physical movements that they havent them when they play computer, smart pho...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 661, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
...r games without their permission and he are playing with his friends or toys more t...
^^^
Line 9, column 62, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: I'm
... based on the arguments explored above, Im of the opinion that in most cases playi...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, consequently, finally, first, if, regarding, so, therefore, while, for instance, in fact, first of all, in most cases, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 35.0 13.8261648746 253% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 25.0 11.0286738351 227% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 68.0 43.0788530466 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 52.1666666667 142% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2974.0 1977.66487455 150% => OK
No of words: 575.0 407.700716846 141% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.17217391304 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.89685180668 4.48103885553 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60067520679 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 264.0 212.727598566 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.459130434783 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 906.3 618.680645161 146% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 20.1344086022 164% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 113.261402643 48.9658058833 231% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 174.941176471 100.406767564 174% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.8235294118 20.6045352989 164% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.58823529412 5.45110844103 158% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.345294112401 0.236089414692 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118193564964 0.076458572812 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0935968569881 0.0737576698707 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.223395674557 0.150856017488 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0594769675911 0.0645574589148 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.8 11.7677419355 168% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.98 58.1214874552 65% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 10.1575268817 159% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.3 10.9000537634 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.73 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 86.8835125448 145% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 20.0 10.002688172 200% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 10.0537634409 151% => OK
text_standard: 20.0 10.247311828 195% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.