Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Parents have a great influence on every individuals' life. A lot of people have been inspired by their parents through their lives and become thrived. Without their supports it is absolutely unlikely to be a practical person in life. There is clear issue up to here. But the question is that is it important for parents to encourage their young teenage to pursue part-time jobs in order to prepare them for adults? In my opinion, there should be some other ways to prepare children for adulthood rather than doing part-time job. I will elaborate my point of view in the subsequent paragraphs.

The first exquisite reason to be mentioned is that children needs some other necessities in this age which should be considered by parents. To illustrate, they first should understand their emotional needs and cut back their gaps. In order to fulfill these requirements, parents should make a deep contact with them. As we know some teenagers depressed in this period of time and they prefer to be in isolation instead of being in collective activities. For instance, when I was 13 years old, I used to lay down in my bed and just play computer games I did not have any close friends or relationship with other. My parents talked to me constantly. They encourage me to make more friends and do some useful activity. It was the time I could understand my parents were my best consulars and motivators.

Another subtle point which deserves some words here is that doing some part-time jobs requires knowing some skills. They are not only time-consuming but also makes teenage get tired and bored. They will lose all their energy to attend fro school works. It will lead them to hate doing job in the future. Some social scholars from all over the world contend that part-time jobs are a practical stage in order to prepare children to have better adulthood. So they organized a questionnaire and asked children between ages of 12-16 in order to estimate the effectiveness of doing part-time jobs and learning some skills. The results were surprising: over 90 percent of children did not progress in their social behavior during attending part-time jobs.

To put it briefly, in order to prepare young children to go through adulthood, we should encourage parents to first provide them a circumstance to fulfill their primitive requirements and gaps including emotional gaps. However, having part-time job would not make them prepare due to the fact that it is time and energy consuming.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 41, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'individuals'' or 'individual's'?
Suggestion: individuals'; individual's
...Parents have a great influence on every individuals life. A lot of people have been inspire...
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Line 3, column 362, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...e know some teenagers depressed in this period of time and they prefer to be in isolation inst...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 95, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... that doing some part-time jobs requires knowing some skills. They are not only t...
^^
Line 5, column 358, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...scholars from all over the world contend that part-time jobs are a practical stag...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, briefly, but, first, however, if, so, for instance, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2066.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 420.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91904761905 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6774907873 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514285714286 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 639.0 618.680645161 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.1669741687 48.9658058833 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.0833333333 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.95833333333 5.45110844103 54% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.296894165497 0.236089414692 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0878957093607 0.076458572812 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0687171777107 0.0737576698707 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.202635527471 0.150856017488 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0671500965426 0.0645574589148 104% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.96 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.