Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries.Hi, Please correct my essay. many Thanks

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries.

Hi, Please correct my essay. many Thanks

Although many people are interested in take a trip inside country and consider it more advantageous, I strongly disagree with this belief. In my opinion one who travel overseas gain more experiences and might be able to improve his knowledge throughout his lifetime. Moreover, traveling abroad may encourage individuals learning a new kind of language.

Doubtless, travel help expanding your global perspective, and better explore the world around you. Actually, the huge amount of information makes life so much better. An example from my own life may shed some light on this issue; I remember the time when I traveled to Dubai with my family actually when I was 7 years old. After arriving there my father find Dubai a good place for starting a new occupation and he decided to stay there. That was a turning point in our life which assists us improving our lifestyle enormously.

One should always remember that people make friends during their lifetime and they meet and get acquainted with each other on a whole range of different occasions. One who just travels inside the country would not have the chance to make friends from other nations. Our friends can teach us a lot since they come from diverse cultural background. Just imagine you have too many friends from other countries. You can socialize also talking about daily routines or even serious things with your friends. It is obvious that speaking with people who come from another parts of the world deepen your knowledge, and help you become open-minded.

Another side of the coin however is language. Learning a language is a useful tool which provides individuals better opportunities to find job, to experience world, and to have better life. Take my friend as an instance; she has a lot of experiences traveling to Europe and Africa. Once she explained me about one of her trips to Norway that by entering that country she has found herself interested in Norwegian language and started learning it. She was describing how this uncanny experience had helped her developing her language skills.

To wrap it out, traveling abroad provides people lots of valuable experiences which would not gain if they stay in their own country. Individuals may create better future for their children if they find a suitable place to live, an experience which happens if they travel overseas. In addition while traveling they can raise their knowledge through making new friends which help them seeing the world from another angle. Last but not least are about people who find learning a foreign language very interesting and desirable. Sometimes they find themselves eager to learn more which is really worthwhile. So does not seem that one should benefits from wide range of opportunities that traveling abroad provide for him or for his next generations?

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

are interested in take a trip
are interested in taking a trip

one who travel overseas gain more experiences
one who travels overseas gains more experiences

travel help expanding your global perspective
travel helps expanding your global perspective

makes life so much better
makes life much better

my father find Dubai a good place
my father found Dubai a good place

Sentence: So does not seem that one should benefits from wide range of opportunities that traveling abroad provide for him or for his next generations?
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to should and benefits

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2

The conclusion is too long. One or two sentences are enough for the conclusion.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 467 350
No. of Characters: 2304 1500
No. of Different Words: 255 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.649 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.934 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.537 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.68 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.051 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.48 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.275 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.49 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.167 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5