In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

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In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

Living longer or shorter is a very important factor that can affect the society. Generally, people who live longer can serve their families and societies longer. There are numerous factors that helps this phenomenon to happen. In my view, people live longer for two key reasons.

The first reason is medical advancement. Having access to millions of treatments and devices assist us to survive for a longer period of time. A very clear example of this fact is my grandmother. My grandmother passed away around 30 years ago when she was having dinner with my step-grandfather. She just laid down and never woke up. When the medical team arrived at her house, they diagnosed that her death happened because of a heart attack. These days, there are so many preventive and screening methods out there that many patients can live longer. Last weekend, my husband and I were informed that his best friend's dad, Raymond, was going to have an open-heart surgery. He did not have any heart attack. He was just doing his annual checkup that they found out one of his main arteries was clogged. So, they kept him in the hospital under supervision of many physicians. He had a surgery last Friday and he was released from the JPS hospital in two days. He is at home right now and recovering while his family are around him. As you can see, Raymond would'nt have survived without advanced medical help, as my grandmother did not.

The second reason is social awareness. Media and health magazines educate people to how to take care of themselves. My grandfather used to eat foods with a lot of trans fat and he never worked out in his life. I believe it was because he was not aware that how physical exercise places impact on everyone's life. He passed away when my dad was only 12. He suffered his short life from high cholestrol. On the other hand, my grandmother was not trained to cook the heathiest food. Many years ago in Iran, people used to prepare food with a lot of animal fat. Every Saturday, my grandmother used to buy lots of meat and oil to cook for the whole week. The terrible life style that they had in addition to bad genes exacerbated my grandfather's situation. In a very beautiful morning, while he was praying, he passed away. This family story taught me that my grandfather could have lived much longer if he had a better life style. In modern life, we make time to take care our health. I do pilates every single day and try to eat steamed food with no oil. I have done so many blood tests and because of my active and healthy life style, I have healthy cholestrol and sugar levels.

In conclusion, people live longer not only because do they get screened by medical teams, but they also live healthier lives.

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numerous factors that helps this phenomenon
numerous factors that help this phenomenon

people live longer not only because do they get screened by medical teams, but they also live healthier lives.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

Sentence: On the other hand, my grandmother was not trained to cook the heathiest food.
Error: heathiest Suggestion: healthiest

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 34 15
No. of Words: 488 350
No. of Characters: 2181 1500
No. of Different Words: 264 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.7 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.469 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.371 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.353 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.646 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.353 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.254 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.376 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5