If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change?
If I could alter a significant thing about my community, I would build equip school. Because I believe proper education system has a key role in modern society. Reasons will discuss in following paragraphs.
First, it is obvious that proper education system is the most important infrastructure in modern society. As majority of my hometown is made by adolescents and children, so the school with high quality system and free can guarantee next generations welfare. Moreover, since good jobs need profession persons with high academic knowledge, therefore school provide this opportunity for them. One of the most significant merit of school is boosting people life quality. Studies demonstrated that person who passed school, has better life and has a successful marriage.
Second, most of people move to another neighborhood or even another city to access easy to suitable school. In contrast, new generation take more care to education and school than previous one. Because they realize it has vital rule on their children future. According to new research which published by immigration statistics institution (ISI), 45 percent of migration is because of access to better school. It was also mentioned some of its disadvantages and catastrophic effect on towns, Such as diversity scatter problem, transportation problem and employment problem. For instance, I lived in a village, where there was no school. So my family decided to move another city. We faced with different problem such as financial and emotion problems. My father was a farmer, thus he did not other professions. He could not find any job and no income. In addition all of my friends were in village and I did not have any friend in new city. After a while I felt depression which was terrible sense. But on the other hand I had good teachers and I had access to equip school.
In conclusion, in my point of view making a school can be the most significant thing which I could do. Two important reasons mentioned to support this idea.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 86, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... community, I would build equip school. Because I believe proper education system has a...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 9, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the people') or simply say ''most people''.
Suggestion: most of the people; most people
...and has a successful marriage. Second, most of people move to another neighborhood or even an...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 194, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...education and school than previous one. Because they realize it has vital rule on their...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 854, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[2]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: addition,
...ould not find any job and no income. In addition all of my friends were in village and I...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 940, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “After” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... I did not have any friend in new city. After a while I felt depression which was ter...
^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'if', 'moreover', 'second', 'so', 'therefore', 'thus', 'while', 'for instance', 'in addition', 'in conclusion', 'in contrast', 'such as', 'on the other hand']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.278820375335 0.229887763892 121% => OK
Verbs: 0.131367292225 0.158761421928 83% => OK
Adjectives: 0.104557640751 0.0866891130778 121% => OK
Adverbs: 0.029490616622 0.046263068375 64% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0670241286863 0.0685040099705 98% => OK
Prepositions: 0.117962466488 0.118717715034 99% => OK
Participles: 0.0187667560322 0.0351676179071 53% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.85268531198 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0241286863271 0.0309702414327 78% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0616621983914 0.0887237588012 69% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0187667560322 0.0209618222197 90% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0134048257373 0.0139019557991 96% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2008.0 2387.08602151 84% => OK
No of words: 333.0 408.028673835 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.03003003003 5.86048508987 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.27180144563 4.48200974243 95% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.39039039039 0.338922669872 115% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.3003003003 0.251872472559 119% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.195195195195 0.174417080927 112% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.141141141141 0.112833075102 125% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85268531198 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 212.727598566 93% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.594594594595 0.524397521467 113% => OK
Word variations: 67.7522003062 59.2087087015 114% => OK
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6684587814 111% => OK
Sentence length: 14.4782608696 20.5533526081 70% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.4547043822 48.84282405 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.3043478261 120.699889404 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.4782608696 20.5533526081 70% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.695652173913 0.644075263715 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.54480286738 90% => OK
Readability: 44.5082908996 45.7405998639 97% => OK
Elegance: 1.82352941176 1.45489161554 125% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0552833356788 0.300154397459 18% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.051330332381 0.103427244359 50% => Sentence sentence coherence is low.
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0580966325694 0.0752933317313 77% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.377320895034 0.497263757937 76% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.134931732814 0.151897553556 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0203085743962 0.114077575197 18% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.043797020156 0.0781384742642 56% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.200185067681 0.336927656856 59% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0409968509865 0.067059652881 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0590040338207 0.210909579961 28% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0415929386911 0.0618886996521 67% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8870967742 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.86379928315 129% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.91756272401 81% => OK
Positive topic words: 14.0 8.42114695341 166% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 2.4623655914 122% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.75985663082 36% => OK
Total topic words: 18.0 13.6433691756 132% => OK
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Rates: 86.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations to cover all aspects.