if you could change one thing about your hometown, what would it be?

Essay topics:

if you could change one thing about your hometown, what would it be?

Near two years ago, my grandfather and my uncle had come to our home town from countryside. They arrived at 6 P.M., When all the people were commuting to their home. It took them three hours to arrive to our house. When I saw their face, they were anxious and angry. My grandfather leaved the next day because he couldn’t tolerate the traffic and noise. From that time I decided that if I once gain competence to change the city, I would change current public transportation to solve the traffic problem of the town. This traffic not only wastes the time of people but also causes so much stress and pressure on individuals.
My home town’s traffic is a kind of things that wastes so much time. Assume that more than two millions people go to their job at mornings and this people come back home afternoons. If each one just spends two hours in traffic, four million hours wasted a day just because of weak public transportation. For example, assume this amount of time spend in charity activities. What a miracle would happen? Today in many countries, governments set specific rules to solve the traffic problem. For instance, In Japan, as the example of an industrial country, public transportation in the most economical way to commute to work. Many people would advocate the idea of enhancing public transportation.
The mental problems like stress because of traffic are another reason for me to change the public transportation systems. My families nowadays suffer from the stresses resulted by traffic in my hometown. For example, assume a man who has spent two hours in traffic and has worked during the day for eight hours. When he comes back home, he is nervous and he is not interested to talk to his wife or play with the kids. This situation would definitely harm the family especially the children because they are mentally weak and they cannot understand the situation.
To conclude, if I can change an important problem about my hometown, I would enhance the public transportation of my city to solve the problem of traffic. May be the next time my grandfather wants to visit us he would stay longer because there is no traffic and noise and he won’t be angry again.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 149, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... people go to their job at mornings and this people come back home afternoons. If ea...
^^^^
Line 4, column 160, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (May) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
...ty to solve the problem of traffic. May be the next time my grandfather wants to v...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, so, for example, for instance, kind of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1822.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 381.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.78215223097 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70474701388 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.53280839895 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 559.8 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.2831814405 48.9658058833 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.8181818182 100.406767564 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.3181818182 20.6045352989 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.63636363636 5.45110844103 48% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 11.8709677419 25% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.118881054372 0.236089414692 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0370677585515 0.076458572812 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0530242365667 0.0737576698707 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0840007753552 0.150856017488 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.050238305573 0.0645574589148 78% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.15 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.46 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.