One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.

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One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.

Children are the precious thing we have in our lives. parents try to do their best to prepare their children for their future through different ways. Some people believe that parents can help their children to be ready for the future by encouraging them to have part time job because they will gain a lot of skills. Whereas others disagree because they think that teenage children should focus on their studying at this period. In my view, it is really beneficial for teenage children to have part times job for two important reasons.

First, teenagers will develop a lot of valuable skills when they work. They can learn how to be responsible, self confidence, how to mange their time, and communication skills. They can change their behaviors to be mature enough to take any further step in their lives without interruption from others. For example, when I was in my first year of my college, I worked on weekends. even though it was a part time job just sixteen hours in local restaurant as a cashier, it had really impacted my life tremendously. it was the first time I dealt with people outside from they people in my circle life since I used to contact people from my families and my friends from school till I had that job. I met people from different walks. I was able to cope with nicest and toughest customers as well. I developed good communication skill to be patient with consumers since they are the core of any business. in addition, sometimes, I had schedule conflict between my work hours and my classes or exams time. I learned that There is always another options in life since I could meet my requirement in different way or even just make good excuse. I was able to speak up confidentely because I gained a lot of experience from talking with the costumers who give me a lot of idea about life. as a result, I never had a wired silence while taking with other. I am pretty sure that I had not that job, I could not have been successful in my life later socially or even in life management.

Second, I leaned the value of money. Of course, no one can appreciate what we have unless they worked hard to get it especially when it equals money. That what exactly happened with me when I got my part time job during collage life. Befor that I was mainly depending on my parents to have everything including my dresses, video games, even money for field trips. I was careless about spending money. However, when I earned 9 dollars per hour after standing on my feet and fully concentrated on my work. I began to treasure the money as a value that we should plan befor spending it. At that time, I saved my salary from this part time job to buy gifts for my parents to say thank you since they spent a lot of money for my education. Then I started to make an account in the bank to help me to buy expensive textbooks. as you see, We cannot know the important of money till we make it.

To sum. Parents can help their teenage children when they foster them to work. Not only does it help them to became mature socially and think better, but also, they can learn how to use money wisely.

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Sentence: For example, when I was in my first year of my college, I worked on weekends. even though it was a part time job just sixteen hours in local restaurant as a cashier, it had really impacted my life tremendously. it was the first time I dealt with people outside from they people in my circle life since I used to contact people from my families and my friends from school till I had that job.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to from and they

Sentence: I learned that There is always another options in life since I could meet my requirement in different way or even just make good excuse.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to another and options

Sentence: Not only does it help them to became mature socially and think better, but also, they can learn how to use money wisely.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past tense
Suggestion: Refer to to and became

Sentence: I was able to speak up confidentely because I gained a lot of experience from talking with the costumers who give me a lot of idea about life. as a result, I never had a wired silence while taking with other.
Error: confidentely Suggestion: confidently

Sentence: I began to treasure the money as a value that we should plan befor spending it.
Error: befor Suggestion: before

flaws:
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns (like ' I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.

The examples should be shorter.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 571 350
No. of Characters: 2473 1500
No. of Different Words: 271 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.888 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.331 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.344 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.962 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.316 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.481 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.171 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5