TPO-05 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.Use specific reasons and examples to suppo

The choices people made about how they use personal time affect deeply to their life. I am the opinion that people tend to spend their time to entertain themselves rather than doing things that matter, which I will explain in the following essay.

First of all, everybody dreams about success without exerting proper actions to achieve it, which later prevent their development. In order to success, we need to draw out firm plan and have a determination to carry out the plan properly. Without doing so, our plan will wither and die. My story of study English is a good example for this. When I first come up with the idea to study abroad, the English proficiency is the obstacle in the application process. All of the university require at least a degree of English, a certified document that proves applicant ability to use English for studying. My English study plan very detailed at first, specifically assigned day and time for each of four academic skills. With this plan, I strongly believe in myself to master English in a short time. In reality, my plan crumbles because of attention shifted to playing a video game instead of studying. Therefore, a strong and detail plan was not enough to help me achieve the result that I needed. My plan for study abroad also gets affected and postponed for the next semester.

Secondly, people have a tendency to do things that fun and nonsense rather than focus on the things that they should do, which eventually held them back. This related to the enjoyment of doing such actions. These easy tasks do not require people to concentrate and exert their energy, which leads to the stress relieve and increase happiness in short-term. They are the opinion of living in the state of ease and unaware of the consequences. In this case, my story of conducting research can help illustrate this. In 2016, I needed to gather large bodies of evidence for the effect of video game on young adult. As being a gamer myself, I seek for friends around campus to fill the prepared questionnaire. Getting the positive result early, I made myself believe this research could be done in s short time. While enjoying the free time and neglecting the due day, I almost forgot to finish the research and turn in the paper. As a result of the late submission, I was marked F for the paper and fail the course. If I was not pleased with myself and live in the illusion of enjoyment, I could have had the better outcome.

In conclusion, people fall to do the personal enjoyment things due to the lack of determination and because of the illusion of short-term happiness.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 462, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: All the
...he obstacle in the application process. All of the university require at least a degree of...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 456, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...aware of the consequences. In this case, my story of conducting research can help...
^^
Line 5, column 742, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...aire. Getting the positive result early, I made myself believe this research coul...
^^
Line 5, column 948, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd turn in the paper. As a result of the late submission, I was marked F for the ...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, at least, in conclusion, in short, as a result, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2150.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 456.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7149122807 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62105577807 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54338697968 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 241.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.52850877193 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 661.5 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 31.007508768 48.9658058833 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.0 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.24 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.68 5.45110844103 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.238729362264 0.236089414692 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0655211283568 0.076458572812 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0960518992185 0.0737576698707 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.187010764668 0.150856017488 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0823016123545 0.0645574589148 127% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.89 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 86.8835125448 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.