TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans
Some people think that it is not a good idea to teach adults and children about methods and ways to arrange their money, while other oppose to this by saying that advantages of spending money outweigh its drawbacks. In my perspective, however, I prefer to teach all of children to arrange their expenses because of the reasons that I will discuss in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, children can manage their money in their future life easily. In fact, people gain limited amount of money from their career, which can mostly cover their urgent and necessary expenses, by learning to manage at young ages, individuals well-prepared to organize their expenses at future. Even though, they can receive some money from university scholarships and their parents, these sources of money merely cover a fractional of expenses. Adults will be able to put aside sum of money monthly for paying education expenses such as tuition fees in future, which are really expensive. Additionally, people will be able to have sufficient amount of money for paying their accommodation expenses in the time when they move to other country for sake of studying. Therefore, learning to organize the money they gain from various sources helps them to well-prepared for their life at future.
The second reason why I support that children should learn to manage their own money at early ages is that they can save money to pay for urgent time. Indeed. every person encounter some problems in their lifespan. People in these circumstances needs money and having sum of money helps them to solve problems. For instance, if a person needs money for curing his or her diseases, what they will do? They may intend to take loan from bank which have a higher rate of interest which in turn worsen their finacial situations more. However, by predicting this predicament and therefore, by saving money previously, individuals ca easily overcome difficulty. So, as you can see, managing money is a good thing to be consider because of unforeseen circumstances.
In conclusion, according to above-mentioned factors, I would say that the benefits of learning money is good not only for children's future but also for overcoming at arduous situations. What will be disadvantages of managing money at young ages, if someone consider to these benefits?
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 557, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...education expenses such as tuition fees in future, which are really expensive. Additional...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 152, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Indeed,
... can save money to pay for urgent time. Indeed. every person encounter some problems i...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 160, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Every
...e money to pay for urgent time. Indeed. every person encounter some problems in their...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 173, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'encounters'.
Suggestion: encounters
...y for urgent time. Indeed. every person encounter some problems in their lifespan. People...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 258, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'someone' must be used with a third-person verb: 'considers'.
Suggestion: considers
...anaging money at young ages, if someone consider to these benefits?
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, really, second, so, therefore, well, while, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1942.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 383.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07049608355 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42384287591 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74030807727 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.514360313316 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 607.5 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.9721594703 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.235294118 100.406767564 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5294117647 20.6045352989 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.82352941176 5.45110844103 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.214213357295 0.236089414692 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.083419260861 0.076458572812 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0644792379139 0.0737576698707 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.139935242347 0.150856017488 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.027483623831 0.0645574589148 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.