TPO 20 Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
All of us know some successful people. We can learn about them by reading their biographies. There are a lot of common features between successul people such as hardworking, being organized, and taking risks. However, some people believe that taking risk is bad becuase of its unpredicted consequences. However, I think taking risks are neccessary for being successful because of two reasons.
First, taking risks can broden your skills. Every new trys have their problem, so we need new knowledge and skills for solving these new problems. For example, when I was at the university, I tried to sell honey to students at the dormitory. I started to print flyers and sitributing them between students, which was so effective. After a while, the problems of this new adventure showed up. The first problem was crowding students at my room, which led to a distraction for myself and my roomate. As a result, I just wrote my phone number on the flyer, and this solved the problem. Second problem was spoiling my products, therefore I predicted a enough amount of honey to sell, and I stopped losing money. Because of this experience, I learned a lot about marketing. In sum, new risks can bring new skills.
Second, Taking new risks can increase your communication. When you are doing a new thing, you have to connect with new people, because we have common interests with old friends, and they usually do bot have experiences in a new things. For example, a few years ago, I decided to attend a conferences about robotic products that I was manufaturing them. In the conference, I met a lot of new people who were visiting or participating at that. We were talking about products and their marketing, and because of that I made a lot of friends in different comapnies, which led to find new customers for my product. So, trying new things can increase your communications with new pepople.
All and all, I think successful people try new things and take risks because they can increase thier skills, and they can increase their communications with new people. However, taking risks can lead to losing your money.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 258, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... some people believe that taking risk is bad becuase of its unpredicted consequen...
^^
Line 2, column 646, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ling my products, therefore I predicted a enough amount of honey to sell, and I s...
^
Line 3, column 228, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'thing'?
Suggestion: thing
...sually do bot have experiences in a new things. For example, a few years ago, I decide...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 286, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a conference' or simply 'conferences'?
Suggestion: a conference; conferences
...e, a few years ago, I decided to attend a conferences about robotic products that I was manuf...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: ALL_AND_ALL[1]
Message: This phrase is nonstandard. Did you mean 'all in all' (=after all, nevertheless)?
Suggestion: All in all
...your communications with new pepople. All and all, I think successful people try new thin...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, second, so, therefore, while, for example, i think, such as, talking about, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1752.0 1977.66487455 89% => OK
No of words: 361.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85318559557 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35889894354 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77271896753 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.509695290859 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 524.7 618.680645161 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.5711892292 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 76.1739130435 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.6956521739 20.6045352989 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.86956521739 5.45110844103 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201211717904 0.236089414692 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0617502985083 0.076458572812 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0621743049727 0.0737576698707 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141000148402 0.150856017488 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0584193873385 0.0645574589148 90% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.3 11.7677419355 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 58.1214874552 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.1575268817 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.55 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 65.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 19.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.