TPO-24 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples

Nowadays it is popular for parents to encourage their teenager children to take a part-time job because this is good for preparing for adult life. I believe that it is a good idea that parents encourage their teenage children to work on a part-time job in order to prepare for adult life. I think this approach benefits adolescents in multiple aspects.

First of all, taking a part-time job promotes financial independence that is a trait of responsible adult. Youngster who worked as a part-time or casual employee has an opportunity to manage income and expense, which entails extra experience with personal finance after grown up. A recently study shows that adults who had a job as a part-time worker develop financial independence earlier that those who did not. Adults with work experience in adolescence develop financial independence in two years after entering an occupation; by contrast, adults with out former working experience before a job manage finance after five years in job. Therefore, a job in adolescence prepares teenagers sufficiently into adulthood.

Moreover, teenagers learn to handle interpersonal relationship by taking a job in adolescence. The competent of dealing with colleagues in and after work contributes to a successful career in adulthood. Teenagers who worked in a job are better prepared for facing the fierce collision and maintaining interpersonal ralationship with coworkers than those who did not. For example, I have never worked before my graduation and I found it is difficult to form a good relationship with colleagues. However, one of my colleagues who worked on several part-time jobs got along well with others.

In summary, I agree with the proposal that parents should support their adolescent children in taking a part-time job to prepare for adult life afterward. One benefit of this approach is that teenagers develop financial independence by earning an income with job, and another benefit is that adolescents learnt how to manage interpersonal relationship by dealing with colleagues.

Votes
Average: 8.8 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 281, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('recently') instead an adjective, or a noun ('study') instead of another adjective.
...e with personal finance after grown up. A recently study shows that adults who had a job as a pa...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 552, Rule ID: WITH_OUT[1]
Message: This word is usually written together. Did you mean 'without'?
Suggestion: without
...ring an occupation; by contrast, adults with out former working experience before a job ...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, moreover, so, therefore, well, for example, i think, in summary, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 43.0788530466 60% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1730.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 323.0 407.700716846 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.3560371517 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23936324884 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.08805488428 2.67179642975 116% => OK
Unique words: 155.0 212.727598566 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.479876160991 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 557.1 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.1193620463 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.333333333 100.406767564 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5333333333 20.6045352989 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.8 5.45110844103 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.328145618967 0.236089414692 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.139756826201 0.076458572812 183% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.112022116693 0.0737576698707 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.242503811656 0.150856017488 161% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0826221607113 0.0645574589148 128% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 11.7677419355 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 58.1214874552 72% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 10.9000537634 127% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 63.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 19.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.