TPO 26 q2It is better for the children to choose the jobs similar to their parent's job rather that the jobs which are vary drastically with their parent's jobs.

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TPO 26 q2
It is better for the children to choose the jobs similar to their parent's job rather that the jobs which are vary drastically with their parent's jobs.

Choosing a job is an important issue for any young adults. Nowadays it is commonly accepted that the children should select their majors and jobs based on their personal interests. Contrary to these belief there are still those who argue that selecting a job similar to the parents can provide many benefit for the children. I inclined to believe that there are some more important factor in finding the best appropriate job for a person such as income and personal abilities.

The first aspect to point out is that the new format of jobs provide better income and differ from the olds job drastically. Therefore, the children should not continue their parent’s job as they do them. They have to adapt their jobs with the requirements of the society. Furthermore, some old job are not needed any more since the machines do them. If a person want to imitate from the jobs of his/her parents, surely he/she cannot have appropriate amount of salary as a result cannot be satisfied in his/her life.

Another significant fact which should be taken in to consideration that the people would be more successful in the jobs which are related to their interest and personal skills. Todays, all parents try to find the hidden abilities of their children since the children can promote easier in the fields of their interest. If parents become biased about their jobs and force their children to involve their jobs in the future, the children react to this forces and surely cannot be successful in the future. For example, if a child have natural abilities about playing musical instruments, he should be encouraged by his parents to continue this field toward maters level. If any other option rather than the personal interest of children will be considered for choosing job, the children will not be fully satisfied in the future.

Based on the above-mentioned points I am convinced that the children should be free to select their future jobs based on their personal abilities and interests and income of the new jobs. We should not be biased about our jobs and should try to help our children to find a well-matched job with their personal characteristics.

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the new format of jobs provide better income
the new format of jobs provides better income

If a person want to
If a person wants to

Sentence: If parents become biased about their jobs and force their children to involve their jobs in the future, the children react to this forces and surely cannot be successful in the future.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and forces

Sentence: For example, if a child have natural abilities about playing musical instruments, he should be encouraged by his parents to continue this field toward maters level.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to maters and level

if a child have natural abilities
if a child has natural abilities

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Different Words: 168 200

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 369 350
No. of Characters: 1756 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.383 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.759 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.516 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.062 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.986 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.545 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5