TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, parents are very concern about their children's education. Most of them always are seeking to find some ways to force children to get better results and grades in school. As one idea parents can give their children money for their excellent grade they get in school. Although a group of people may find this idea not enough wisely but I think that it is very beneficial.

First, children need great motivations. They are at a sensitive age and they may loose their path. Parents should encourage them to get better grades in school and offering money is very convincing for children. If they have some goals such as get more money, they concentrate their efforts and definitely they would have better performance. Actually, children need to be persuaded that advanced education causes a better life in the future.

Moreover, some children believe that their parents do not care about their educational situation and it does not matter if they get a high grade or low. So this offer could show children they are important and their parents think about their improvement. For example, about myself, when I went to school my mother proposed me this offer and it had a significant effect in my final grades because as I found out she concern about my situation, I decided to satisfy her.

Finally, as children spend more of their time to study so this idea help them to be more autonomous and by this way they earn money. When they have money they become more confident and practice some duties that will experience in the future.

To sum up, in my opinion, this idea is very helpful. People inherently need some motivations. Earning money could tempt children to work harder and get better grades.

Votes
Average: 6 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 88, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[4]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put after the verb 'are'.
Suggestion: are always
...children apos;s education. Most of them always are seeking to find some ways to force chil...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 82, Rule ID: LOOSE_LOSE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'lose' (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
Suggestion: lose
...hey are at a sensitive age and they may loose their path. Parents should encourage th...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 416, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'concerns'.
Suggestion: concerns
...final grades because as I found out she concern about my situation, I decided to satisf...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, finally, first, if, may, moreover, so, for example, i think, such as, in my opinion, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 52.1666666667 58% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1435.0 1977.66487455 73% => OK
No of words: 295.0 407.700716846 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.86440677966 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14434120667 4.48103885553 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43708303986 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 151.0 212.727598566 71% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.51186440678 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 439.2 618.680645161 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Interrogative: 2.0 0.994623655914 201% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.424938804 48.9658058833 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.4117647059 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.3529411765 20.6045352989 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.41176470588 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.368095538317 0.236089414692 156% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.130884494565 0.076458572812 171% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0841419228584 0.0737576698707 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.216794682854 0.150856017488 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0703029505711 0.0645574589148 109% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 11.7677419355 86% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.61 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.53 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 86.8835125448 66% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK

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Rates: 63.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 19.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.