TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some parents give their children financial prize on the youngs' academic achievements. Even though children would be happy to receive such kind of 'scholarship' from their parents, it would harm students' instinct of study. Parents should not offer money to the kids for the good mark they got in school.

First of all, money could not value kids' performance in school. In other words, academic performances are not merchandise, and parents could not buy children' grade with money. Too much emphasis on score would cause students lose their interests in the study.

Next, scores could not represent students' effort either. Parents may think low marks indicate their kids do not study hard enough. In point of fact, the majority of students could not get a high grade in class, no matter how hard they try. But their interests and curiosity are no less than their high-grade peers.

Besides these, young kids may not spend money properly. Most of the students are too young to understand how to manage their finance. Most of their financing ideology is to follow the trend. For instance, young people often think smoking is cool. It is very likely that students may use the money they get from parents to buy cigarets or marijuana which would be worse.

All in all, the act of giving money to children based on their grades may have a bad influence on students' motivation and credibility to study. Parents should avoid offering money to their children based on this reason.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 99, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...heir grades may have a bad influence on students motivation and credibility to study. Pa...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, first, may, so, for instance, kind of, first of all, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 2.0 11.0286738351 18% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 43.0788530466 42% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 52.1666666667 63% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1231.0 1977.66487455 62% => OK
No of words: 250.0 407.700716846 61% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.924 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.97635364384 4.48103885553 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.35635311445 2.67179642975 88% => OK
Unique words: 137.0 212.727598566 64% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.548 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 355.5 618.680645161 57% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 9.59856630824 21% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => OK
Sentence length SD: 27.3005823987 48.9658058833 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 72.4117647059 100.406767564 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.7058823529 20.6045352989 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.76470588235 5.45110844103 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.28280068451 0.236089414692 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0977694513116 0.076458572812 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.077398306966 0.0737576698707 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.164865245161 0.150856017488 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0409732205465 0.0645574589148 63% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.1 11.7677419355 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 74.19 58.1214874552 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 10.1575268817 63% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.66 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.11 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 44.0 86.8835125448 51% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.