TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

A glance at today's parents way of rewarding their children on studying brings to light a question that has several times provoked debate, namely, whether it is advisable for parents to offer school-age children money for high grades. Some might contend that by doing so the students can be motivated to study harder and make progress continually. However, I would like to assert that parents are not supposed to provide financial awards for children's study.

First and foremost, getting money from good grades distorts the real goal of study. It is widely accepted that children go to school to satisfy the instinctive curiosity of understanding the world, and to be equipped with essential knowledge for getting a job when they grow up. But if parents use money to reward children for their success in study, it is likely to leave the impression on children that they study hard so that they can use the money to buy things they want. Were they had formed this thought, it would be difficult for them to figure out the aim of learning and lose the enthusiasm for pursuing knowledge as soon as the financial reward stops.

Secondly, the method of financially rewarding children for good results in exams can backfire. It is undeniable that students need to learn every subject as equally hard as possible, regardless of how they had performed in the previous tests, because they are faced with new knowledge from time to time. As one can imagine, if the students study only to get money from their parents, they will naturally spend more time and energy on those subjects that they can make progress easily, and ignore those that they already do well or do not seem to have the ability to do better. This can eventually lead to unbalanced development of the student.

Admittedly, there are some justifications by those who argue that offering school-age children money for high marks is reasonable. For example, children can learn that it is only their own diligent work that brings about fortune, which can be a valuable notion when they commence their careers. Nonetheless, I still affirm that students can also pick up this idea through a part-time job. By doing so, not only can they have a meaningful experience in their student days, but they can also get paid and harvest a sense of achievement and satisfactory.

Due to the aforementioned ground, I firmly believe that it is unwise for parents to offer their children money for high grades they get at school, and the real purpose of getting knowledge and balanced development of the student are two prime and conspicuous reasons.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, nonetheless, second, secondly, so, still, thus, well, for example

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2160.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 441.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89795918367 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58257569496 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61539240964 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 212.727598566 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.50566893424 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 658.8 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 63.2939261995 48.9658058833 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.0 100.406767564 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5625 20.6045352989 134% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.45110844103 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.324687584796 0.236089414692 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120612624427 0.076458572812 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0793072929882 0.0737576698707 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.214023770743 0.150856017488 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0466334731861 0.0645574589148 72% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 11.7677419355 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 10.1575268817 124% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.44 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 86.8835125448 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.