TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Acquiring award because of mission accomplishment is favorite for every one and it could be a effective incentive. But there are some important issues in social science and psychology like how award will be granted or what is the award. I think offering kids money for each high grade is a bad idea that could be a destructive factor to educate children.

First, money has many benefits for human being but simultaneously it could be adverse tool in life of people. When money is regarded as value and a metric for evaluating everything it will decay society's morality. With this manner of cheering up students believe that money is the final goal and they should try in their life to earn more money. So in future deposit of bank account will be replaced with loyalty, commitment, truthful or any human supreme values.

Second, new modern education systems in developed countries has been shifted from grade-base structure to conceptual one. In this type of learning system, teachers try to evaluate students that how they learned context and they do not label them with a point as grad. So giving money as prize in order to get higher mark is in contradiction with new philosophy has been raised and it misleads governments from their supreme educational targets.

In other point, if a person got money for each good grade he will expect this procedure in next coming years. However in adult life it could not happen you get money for every effort and it results in depression and disappointment. So parents should be careful in upbringing methods because of bad consequence in their family members.

In conclusion, It is very essential to care about methods of encouragement in order to lead our future fathers and mothers. We see one wrong mistake in this subject can change many things for them. So offering money is not a mature deal with our children for their studying.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 93, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... favorite for every one and it could be a effective incentive. But there are some...
^
Line 7, column 111, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ct this procedure in next coming years. However in adult life it could not happen you g...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, second, so, i think, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 43.0788530466 67% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1568.0 1977.66487455 79% => OK
No of words: 322.0 407.700716846 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.86956521739 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23607819155 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67119020802 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.593167701863 0.524837075471 113% => OK
syllable_count: 492.3 618.680645161 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 23.3288314109 48.9658058833 48% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 98.0 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.125 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.6875 5.45110844103 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.217163435415 0.236089414692 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.072190617743 0.076458572812 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0615043797282 0.0737576698707 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120230742108 0.150856017488 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0306298539166 0.0645574589148 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.65 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 86.8835125448 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.