TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It has became a common phenomenon that parents offer children money for their grades in recent years. In my opinion, this has far more benefits than the weakness for the following reasons.

To begin with, children can pay more concentration on study due to the reward of money. Once they get money, there’s no doubt that they will try harder to get more money than the last time which means they have to cost more time on study and reduce the time wasting on watching TV or playing games. And I will take myself as an example. Ten years ago, when I was just a primary school student, my parents cared about my study because I was addicted to playing games. I wanted to buy a new Play Station, however, I didn’t have enough money. Then I was told that if I can get a high grade, I will get enough money to buy it. To my parents’ surprise, after that, I paid more time on study and reduced time of playing. What a good idea! This is really good to improve children’s study.

Then, it can effectively improve children’s ability of managing money in a young age. If a person cannot use money reasonable, he will never feel happy even with lots of money. But as we can use this way to force them manage their money, it is possible that they can learn how to spend money. Also in the last example, when I finally got the money by three month’s hard work, I thought it was inadvisable that wasting all money for a new one. The better choice for me is to use just half of the price to buy a second-hand and save other money. So by this way, I learnt how to use money effectively.

Admittedly, some worries that this method causes some children forget their initial target, thus they may just care about money not the study. But this is not a case if we just give them a little. What’s more, too much money for a child who do not have enough power to identify the goods is really dangerous.

In a conclusion, offering money for children’s growth of study can really benefit them in both their study and the ability of controlling money.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 8, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'become'.
Suggestion: become
It has became a common phenomenon that parents offer ...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, if, may, really, second, so, then, thus, as to, no doubt, in my opinion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1701.0 1977.66487455 86% => OK
No of words: 381.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.46456692913 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53409592885 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.514435695538 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 534.6 618.680645161 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Interrogative: 3.0 0.994623655914 302% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.0632000719 48.9658058833 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.05 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.05 20.6045352989 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.75 5.45110844103 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.254846767876 0.236089414692 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0849286292511 0.076458572812 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0504355118245 0.0737576698707 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.157085376817 0.150856017488 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0192738643355 0.0645574589148 30% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.1 11.7677419355 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.59 10.9000537634 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.98 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 86.8835125448 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.