TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Never before in the history has the problem of education been such salient than today. Since people treat education much more important, parents are likely to create some new methods to encourage their children to become more passionate about study. Recently, the phenomenon that parents give their children money as a reward for getting high mark in school has caused wide public concern. Some people indicate that it will change children’s opinion on study, making them believe only money is the purpose of study. However, I contend that giving some money to children as a reward is a good choice, a choice that its merits weigh out its drawbacks.
To start with, giving money to the children as a reward can stimulate children to study harder. When children get feedback of their hard work, the study will become a happy job instead of just a boring duty. We cannot refute that sometimes study could be really boring, doing a lot of exercises, reading passages, working out math problems. So setting a goal for children is necessary for the children to keep their interests. If they could use the money to buy what they want as a gift, children will pursue the good mark harder.
Another reason drives me to indicate is that, financial thinking as an important ability which is useful to the modern people, meaning that we need to teach our children how to manage their own money. During the method that giving money as a reward, children will have a chance to manage their own money. Parents will benefit children not only to their current life but also to their future. For instance, my mother used to give me some money as a reward when I was young. And I used that money to start my own account in the bank. After that, I would periodically save some money, which has already become a large amount of money nowadays.
Admittedly, it is unwise to give much money once a time when children get a good mark, since that the children will seek only for money during their study. The goal we expect is to encourage our children and tell them to pursue more success. However, if we make sure that children will not misunderstand the meaning of the reward and keep a health attitude to the money. It will be fine to do so.
Judging from what I’ve mentioned above, I should reinforce my perspective that it is good for parents to give their children money as a reward for getting high mark in school.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[1]
Message: The adverb 'Never' is usually not used at the beginning of a sentence.
Never before in the history has the problem o...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, really, so, for instance, to start with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1986.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 427.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.65105386417 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54576487731 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.36745795186 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.475409836066 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 621.9 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.0031177923 48.9658058833 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.5714285714 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3333333333 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.0 5.45110844103 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.284629718847 0.236089414692 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0989486751003 0.076458572812 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.068181032116 0.0737576698707 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.192331337654 0.150856017488 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0367658701611 0.0645574589148 57% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 11.7677419355 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.69 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.22 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 86.8835125448 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.