TPO-40 - Independent Writing TaskSome parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task

Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Since the language is invented, humans were capable of transfering their knowledge and experience to next generations, and in the modern era, we tend to recieve these knowledge through school. it's important to understand and learn these knowledge very well. A controversial question regarding this subject is how children can learn school's lessons better? Some people hold the view that children should receive money for each high score they get in school to improve their education. In my perspective, giving money for getting good grades is a practical plan for few reasons which I will elaborate more.

First of all, students tend to be motivated by this prize. sometimes, studying pure knowledge can be boring and hard, and parents should find some ways to compansate students' hard work and encourage them to continue this task. When children know that someone knows the value of their efforts by giving money to them, they try to get better grades for the next time. That is how children can be guided to seek more knowledge.

Furthermore, the money gained from studying can be seen as a source of income for children. To be honest, kids are not capable of working on a real job that requires experience. In this way, parents can teach their children that studying and being good at studying actually is a very good method to earn money. As the result, children can buy their needed stuff with this money. For example, my parents are trying to conduct this methode on my younger brother. Whenever he scores high at school's test, my mother and father gives him money to buy a scientific book with it. So always my brother tries to be good at school and receive more money to buy more books and learn more about universe.

Finally, getting high grades is not easy and whenever a student obtain a good mark, he/she should be regarded and thanked, this acts like a new goal for students and compel them to do better for the next exam. Parents in order to thank their children for their awesome accomplishments in school should find a way to value children's efforts because getting high marks is not easy for students and by receiving a small amount of money, children find a good reason to continue this hard task, and not to leave it. As an example, a survey was conducted in a school in my country, showing that more than 90% of the students didn't like to continue their education to an upper level because the lessons were very hard. The remaining 10% wanted to go to university because their parents gave them money for doing more effort to score high on the national exam and apply for elite universities. This is how the new reason resulted very well in that school.

To wrap it up, based on what was mentioned before, it's a good technique to give money to kids for their high grades because it can be a motivation for them, and they can buy their needs with the money, besides that studying is a hard task, so parents should give sudents another reason to continue it.

Votes
Average: 7.7 (3 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 162, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this knowledge' or 'these knowledges'?
Suggestion: this knowledge; these knowledges
...d in the modern era, we tend to recieve these knowledge through school. its important to unders...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 194, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Its
...recieve these knowledge through school. its important to understand and learn these...
^^^
Line 1, column 232, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this knowledge' or 'these knowledges'?
Suggestion: this knowledge; these knowledges
.... its important to understand and learn these knowledge very well. A controversial question reg...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 60, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Sometimes
...nts tend to be motivated by this prize. sometimes, studying pure knowledge can be boring ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 620, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...wing that more than 90% of the students didnt like to continue their education to an ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 52, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...up, based on what was mentioned before, its a good technique to give money to kids ...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, besides, finally, first, furthermore, if, regarding, so, well, for example, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2465.0 1977.66487455 125% => OK
No of words: 526.0 407.700716846 129% => OK
Chars per words: 4.68631178707 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78901763229 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40694997334 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.454372623574 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 737.1 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.777761145 48.9658058833 143% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.045454545 100.406767564 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.9090909091 20.6045352989 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.45454545455 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.31121394308 0.236089414692 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106653641896 0.076458572812 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0712623877368 0.0737576698707 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.199550067181 0.150856017488 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0601127778227 0.0645574589148 93% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 11.7677419355 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.22 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.42 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 86.8835125448 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => The average readability is low. Need to improve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes. We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200

Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

a student obtain a good mark,
a student obtains a good mark,

Sentence: Since the language is invented, humans were capable of transfering their knowledge and experience to next generations, and in the modern era, we tend to recieve these knowledge through school. it's important to understand and learn these knowledge very well.
Error: recieve Suggestion: receive
Error: transfering Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: First of all, students tend to be motivated by this prize. sometimes, studying pure knowledge can be boring and hard, and parents should find some ways to compansate students' hard work and encourage them to continue this task.
Error: compansate Suggestion: compensate

Sentence: For example, my parents are trying to conduct this methode on my younger brother.
Error: methode Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: To wrap it up, based on what was mentioned before, it's a good technique to give money to kids for their high grades because it can be a motivation for them, and they can buy their needs with the money, besides that studying is a hard task, so parents should give sudents another reason to continue it.
Error: sudents Suggestion: students

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 528 350
No. of Characters: 2401 1500
No. of Different Words: 234 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.794 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.547 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.356 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.354 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.519 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5