TPO 40-Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

TPO 40-Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

It is incontrovertibly axiomatic that give someone, something as a reward after a remarkable achievement might change their attitude either in positive or negative way. From far ago, the world has seen such circumstances, some of them improve the efficiency of a student and some has detrimental effects. Children play such an important role in future’s life and must be educated for the sake of humanity; therefore, they need to be motivated for doing their best during such education. There is a controversy amongst different people whether giving money as a reward to children is the best apt or there would be some other appropriate methods.

The most noticeable demerit of giving money to students as a reward is that they get used to give money for every other accomplishment. Although schools give some award to the brilliant students, prizes from parents could extremely boost their efficiency and stimulate them; however, this must not tell them they can have money for every other activity. As a clear illustration, when a child in school give money after every high mark in school expect from his or her parent to give him money for some other activities such as painting a good paint, playing an instrument, and winning in a football match to name but a few. While, after become an adult, and going to work he expect from everyone to give him some money as reward, he will face to a problem that no one care about his or her since he or she has done just what has to do.

The first and foremost privilege of giving money to a child who is in the school, On the other hand, is that it can stimulate them to do their best. Parents must have a profound understanding of their children and how to motive them. As it is commonly sensed, efficiency of students tends to be affected more and more by students who are motive. I, personally, witnessed quite a few students who give money from their parent after getting a high grade in their courses and become really successful in their fields, and many others who their parents never give them any money even when they get full mark from their exams and become acute problem to the society which can be stem from not being regarded.

Furthermore, another advantage of the aforementioned idea is that bring children independency. To be more elaborate, as far as independency is concerned, children have their own money which they have worked for it and this means that from early ages they learn to how to work with money. Statistics show the fact that students who give money from their parents after getting a high score show a natural inclination toward standing on their feet in comparison with other students and it would be wise to draw a conclusion from these evidence that giving money to children make them stronger and more reliable in future.

To put the issue into prospective, with all this taken into account, I would wholeheartedly assert that giving money to children as reward is better choice on the ground that, from my point of view the pros of giving them money such as motivated them, and provide them an opportunity to be independent far outweigh its cons like, make them used to get money from every achievement.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 86, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[5]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'used to giving'.
Suggestion: used to giving
...o students as a reward is that they get used to give money for every other accomplishment. A...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 676, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'expects'.
Suggestion: expects
...r become an adult, and going to work he expect from everyone to give him some money as...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 609, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...en make them stronger and more reliable in future. To put the issue into prospective, ...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, really, so, therefore, while, as to, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 76.0 52.1666666667 146% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2652.0 1977.66487455 134% => OK
No of words: 558.0 407.700716846 137% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.75268817204 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.86024933743 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64926685496 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 259.0 212.727598566 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.464157706093 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 837.0 618.680645161 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 34.0 20.1344086022 169% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 88.8327079403 48.9658058833 181% => OK
Chars per sentence: 165.75 100.406767564 165% => OK
Words per sentence: 34.875 20.6045352989 169% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.3125 5.45110844103 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.28684701173 0.236089414692 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.109227816793 0.076458572812 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0618066298633 0.0737576698707 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.174340268997 0.150856017488 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0620219739757 0.0645574589148 96% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.4 11.7677419355 156% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.43 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 10.1575268817 152% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.86 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 86.8835125448 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.0 10.002688172 160% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.6 10.0537634409 155% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 10.247311828 156% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.