Tpo 5 Task 2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do rather than the things they should.
Nowadays there are many modern enjoying stuffs that people spend time on and it is hard to say if they devote their main tasks in favor of getting pleasure.
First, there are plenty of modern tempting activities which are trying to persuade people to allocate time and have fun with. As an example consider social networks such as facebook. People spend almost their time in this network finding some exciting events and even seeking an ideal partner. There is nothing wrong with it but the problems engage when people have a more important task to do but they don't want to leave this network because it is somehow addictive. For instance, a mother prefers surfing the net instead of caring her baby and this may have some severe consequences.
Second, nowadays people are more knowledgeable and they know they should allocate enough time for some enjoying activities. In fact, majority of people find it preferable to have a less busy schedule with more pleasure time because they aware this kind of life style will give them some benefits such as maintaining a healthy body. Followers of this school of thought believe that the more you enjoy the healthier you will be. Moreover, perpetuating is a desirable aim of human so it is likely to a longer life by working less and enjoy more.
On the other hands, this modern life offers some marginal problems with itself which makes lives harder and less enjoyable. For example, although modern cars provide many opportunities for people to have fun with, they have also some problems such as heavy traffics. Heavy traffics are wasting a considerable part of people's time which they wanted to spend on funny activities but they can't. In addition, financial problems all over the world obligate people to work more and harder in order to afford life expenses and they can nothing to do but eliminating their enjoyments.
All in all, I believe modern life allowed people to have more funny activities though it has some problems as well.
it is hard to say if they devote their main tasks in favor of getting pleasure.
it is hard to say whether they devote their main tasks in favor of getting pleasure.
and they can nothing to do but eliminating their enjoyments.
and they have nothing to do but eliminate their enjoyments.
flaws:
Make the sentences more clear. Don't forget punctuation marks:
There is nothing wrong with it but the problems engage when people have a more important task to do but they don't want to leave this network because it is somehow addictive.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 340 350
No. of Characters: 1618 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.294 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.759 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.369 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.208 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.599 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5